21. 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬

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1 𝐒𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 2021

𝐀𝐦𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐦, 𝐍𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬

Carlos watched Lando as he picked out another golf club from the bag. After Elena encouraged him to not end their friendship on her account, he'd invited the younger driver to play golf with him on his birthday. Lando was shocked at the invitation but accepted it nonetheless.

The Spanish driver had a lot on his mind, particularly about Elena and the only way he could clear his mind was to get outside and admire the scenery while playing one of his favorite sports.

"Oi cabron. Come here. Let's have a little chit-chat."

Lando gulped nervously as he knew it was time to face the music. There weren't many people who he held in high regard but Carlos was definitely one of them. Knowing that he'd already disapointed four of the other people he greatly cared about, he wasn't in the mood to hear the same thing from Carlos.

"Don't worry I won't shout at you. I just need to tell you a few things."
The brit nodded and walked over to his friend.

"Now just listen to me. Obviously I'm disappointed that you cheated on Elena but I can't say that I'm surprised. I mean absolutely no offense. I could see that sooner or later one of you was going to mess up. I just need to know why you did it. I know you might not have the answer just yet or you might not be able to put it into words but I'll be ready to hear what you have to say. "
With that he patted him on the back before walking off to continue the game.

Lando stood there as he thought of how to vocalise his thoughts. He finally found the right words a few minutes later.

"There was too much pressure. When we got together it felt like the whole world was watching us constantly. Every time I hopped on a stream the viewers wanted to see Elena. Every interview of hers mentioned our relationship. And then there were the critics who bashed her for releasing all those sad songs while we were together. They said that she clearly didn't have faith in our relationship if she was writing about heartbreak during the early stages of our relationship. So when I met Alisa, I saw an opportunity to be with someone that nobody knew. I could bring her to Flo's stables and no one would recognize her. Fans wouldn't stop us in the street for photos or autographs. I felt like the old Lando who's only concerns were F1, streaming and milk. "
Despite him feeling slightly emotional he managed to keep his voice calm and clear throughout.

"But now I realize how much I miss that. Because even though it sucked not having any privacy at least we went through it together. And last week during my crash all I could think of was her. I was scared that if I died right there and then, her last memories of me would be painful ones. All she'd remember is how I hurt her. And then I selfishly thought about myself. I can't die knowing that she hates me. And I just really want her to know that I love her more than anything. I really do. I just wish I'd shown it better. "
Carlos hugged his friend as he burst into tears. He hated to see two of his favorite people in such a state. Elena was just as heartbroken.

THAT MORNING

"Happy birthday Chili! Did you get my gift!? "

"Yes I did. Muchas gracias. How are you doing?"

"I'm good but that's not what we should be focusing on. It's your birthday, come on tell me what are you planning on doing today."

"Well your gift is going to be put at great use. Notice the pun. Eh. I'll be playing golf with Lando today."
The girls laughter halted and the line went silent as she processed his words. She hadn't properly heard his name in the past week or two as everybody just mentioned him by his pronouns rather than his name.

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