Monolouges and Rants

Depression Analogy

Depression is like running a marathon that doesn't have a finish line.
Everything around you is dark and colorless.
Only shades of grey.
You're the only one racing but there's people all around you watching.
Instead of cheering you on, it's voices telling you horrible things:

"you aren't good enough."
"You're being lazy."
"Why can't you go any faster?"
"Can't you didn't anything right?"
"What's wrong with you?"

You keep running and running, hoping the voices would be left in the dust.
But no matter how much you try they're always right in your ear.
You're body is weak and tired but you have to keep going.
You can't stop because then the voices will win.

You can't breathe
You're exhausted
You want to collapse
Everything around you is spinning
But you have to keep going.

Every once and a while you see a checkpoint.
You're filled with happiness thinking you finally made it too the end.
Hoping that you can finally stop running.
But as soon as you pass that point, there's still more race to go.
It never ends.

Sometimes there's small voices that cut through the darkness that whispers encouragement.
A small push to keep strong.
A tiny ray of light to tell you that you can do this.
They're fleeting but that little spark is enough to give you a boost.
It lets you block out the negative for just a moment.
But, the voices always return to knock you back down.

"Worthless."
"Good for nothing."
"Weak."
"Lazy."
"Pathetic."
"Insufferable."
"Useless."

To breaks you but you keep going.
You keep running, waiting to see that finish line.
Eventually, you see it.
The bright banner.
The finish line.

The voices get louder, trying to make you fail right at the end.
But you're so close now that you can't give up.
Finally, you're foot crosses that line.
You're bathed in light.
All around you are those voices that encouraged you through the darkest times.
The ones that believed in you.
They're all cheering for you.
It's more beautiful that you ever could have imagined.

You finally finished the race.
No matter how long it took, you did it.
You succeeded even when it seemed like you were against the world.
No matter your pace, you are a winner and a survivor.

———————

Depression feels like a battle that can't be won. But trust me when I say, once you win that fight, you'll never be more proud of yourself. You're not alone. Even in the darkness there are always voices of encouragement. People who believe in you. Even if it just a small whisper, they support you. Everyones journey is different and everyone has their own pace. So even if it takes you some time to get to your own finish line, you will find it one day.

And it will be glorious.