((This is sort of a rant, I think? I'm kinda just putting out how I've been feeling for the past few weeks.
Also this could be a little triggering))
Do you ever get that feeling like you just don't belong?
Like you are just there but don't know why.
This feeling comes out of nowhere mostly and can stay around for an hour to months.
That's kinda how I've been feeling for a little while now.
I don't know what it is but I just feel kinda useless.
I don't really have any reason for this either!
I'm dating an amazing person, convention is in a few weeks, a good friend of mine is coming to see me soon.
Things are pretty good!
The only bad things right now are my grades and a few personal things.
But I just have this mentality that I'm just not needed anymore.
Like I'm kinda just taking up space now.
Let me explain.
I've just been having weird moments of depression.
Times where I just want to sit in a dark room alone.
Having crazy mood swings.
Having mental panic attacks.
Having sudden moments of pure terror for no apparent reason.
Bursting out into tears at random.
The list goes on and on.
I don't know what to make of this.
Is something wrong with me?
I just don't know anymore.
I don't know what to feel or how to think at all.
Nothing has really caused any of this to happen, I don't think so at least.
Maybe I'm just screwed up in the head or something?
Just maybe I finally lost it?
Who the hell knows.
It kinda feels like being trapped in a never ending cycle.
Like I can't escape these feelings anymore.
Will they ever end?
I'm just not sure anymore.
YOU ARE READING
Monolouges and Rants
RandomI doubt these will get much attention but this was going to be a place to write out my personal monologues. Some of my topics might be a bit much for certain people so at the beginning of some of the more "intense" monologues, I will put a trigger...
