Monolouges and Rants

Journey to Perfection

Momma always said that you'll only be liked if you're beautiful.
No one will ever love you if you aren't.

"Too fat!"
"Need to lose weight."
"Have to wear makeup."
"Hair has to be perfect."
"Not good enough!"
"Never good enough!"

Every day, that's the struggle.
Asking the same questions all the time.

"Why can't I be perfect like them!?"
"What do they have that I don't!"
"Why am I so hideous!"
"What is wrong with me?!"

Those same questions in your head.
The thought never goes away.
Always the same.

"Why can I not be perfect?"

The people around you don't help.
The stares only make it worse.

"They know I'm faking it."
"They can tell I'm over weight."
"Hide it all away."
"No one can ever know."

The world feels against you.
Nothing seems to help anymore.
You know there's a problem but you don't know what it is.

"What's wrong with me?"
"Why am I not normal?"
"I don't want to be different."

Then it hits you.

You're depressed

The single thought throws everything out of proportion.
You try so hard to hide it from everyone.
You don't want anyone to know.

Too late.
Someone noticed.

Your best friend asks if you're okay.
You lie and say yes but they know the truth.

They try to help you but you just push them away.
You feel like a burden to them.
But, they never give up on you.

One day, you finally break the habit.
You go a full day without putting yourself down.
You never felt more proud of yourself in your life.
Things are finally looking up.

Then you relapse.

"I'm ugly."
"I'm a nuisance."
"No one will ever love me."

No amount of words can help you now.
You feel like you were only fooling yourself.
Nothing in life feels meaningful anymore.
You hit rock bottom again.

Your friend drags you out shopping.
They help cheer up up in the moment.
But it doesn't do much.

No matter what, they're still there for you.

Out of no where, you realize something.
You spent so much of your life comparing yourself to others that you missed something.
There's no such thing as being perfect.

Society pushes this belief of perfection that can't ever be achieved.
Even the icons of perfection aren't as glamorous as they seem.
Truth is, there's not a single definition of perfection.

Once this hits you, everything changes.
You start appreciating yourself for who you are.
You can stand your reflection again.
They world seems bright again.

You break away from this bottomless pit of self loathing and see the real world around you.
People being themselves and embracing who they are.
People being perfect in their own way.

You can't help but want to be like that.
Confident in your own skin.
So begins your journey to your own perfection.

What you don't realize, is that just accepting your flaws, makes you perfect.

"I am beautiful."
"I am strong."
"I am sexy."
"I am me."

——
Wherever you are in your own journey to perfection, just remember.
Be yourself and don't let anyone tell you who to be.
You're perfect in your own way.
You are loved and supported.
You can do this.
Never give up on yourself.