eilish - carl gallagher

[seven] dissapointment

tw - mention of self harm

"HOW'VE YOU BEEN?" Carl asks Billie as he throws his clothes into the laundry shoot and walks back to the room.

"I've been good, I've been staying at Kev and V's most nights, uh, yeah I've been doing ok." Billie said to Carl with a small smile.

"That's good." Carl spoke.

"How was juvie?" Billie asked the cornrowed boy.

"Juvie was good, learnt some stuff, made some friends, I had fun." He said before sitting down next to Billie on Ian's bed.

"Well that's good." Billie said before they fell into an awkward silence.

"What's the family been up to?" Carl asks, breaking the silence.

"Well, I think Debbie might be pregnant," Billie said.
"No shit, Debbies pregnant?" Carl asked in shock. "Yeah, uh, Lip's still at college, uhm, Frank's still got that thing for that doctor." Billie spoke.

"Doctor?" Carl asks in confusion.

"Oh god, uh he fell in love with a doctor with stage 3 pancreatic cancer, went to Costa Rica with her, she killed herself." Billie said to Carl.

"Jesus christ." Carl mumbled while he chuckled slightly.

"Yeah." Billie sighed. "Fuck. I forgot i had dance i'm so sorry." Billie said as she stood up from Ian's bed. "Are you ok with me going? I'll be home before the party." Billie asked Carl.

"Don't even worry about it." He responded. And with that Billie ran out of the house and back to Kev and V's to grab her dance stuff. She shoved it in a bag and rode her bike 10 minutes to the class.

-

Billie got home from dance and hopped into the shower, she washed her hair as she sang along to Black Out Days, by Phantogram.

As she hopped out of the shower, she stared at herself in the mirror. Wondering why she didn't look like Debbie, or Fiona, or her friends at school. Just wondering why she looked, she way she did. Billie had struggled with body image and depression since she could remember. It just became more apparent after Carl left.

Billie stared at the scars that lay on her hip and wrist. She felt a tear fall down her cheek as she stared at herself. Eventually, giving into the temptation. Again.

-

As Ian, Carl, Liam and Frank all sat on the couches in front of the TV, Frank begins to speak.

"14 and already a convicted drug trafficker. I gotta tell you, son. I couldn't be prouder. I had hopes for Lip, but with him in college now and this one punching a clock, I was afraid none of my sons were gonna follow me into the family business." Frank says before laughing slightly.

"I love you" Frank finishes.

"Ignore him." Ian says to Carl.

"No, it's important that you know I really love you." Frank continues.

"God, give it up Frank." Billie says as she walks in front of the tv going to sit down on the arm chair next to the couch.

"Sure, Frank." He says without looking at the man.

"Call me dad?" Frank asks the boy.

Carl looks at frank in dilbelief without saying a word. But before anyone could respond, Lip, Fiona, V, Kev and Sean came walking in with the cake singing, For He's a Jolly Good Fellow.