tw
THE NEXT COUPLE DAYS HAVE BEEN HARD FOR BILLIE. It was around 3 days after the previous events, and she seemed to take a downward spiral. Not eating, not showering, not doing much at all. Even Svetlana started getting concerned.
Billie had noticed Svet not hanging around as much after Yvon left. She didn't know why, but, maybe she didn't want to know.
It was the morning of the fourth day after. V tried to get her to eat. She had eaten a muffin the day before as V practically forced her, but that was it. Billie woke up and felt the worst she had ever felt. She had been low, but never this low. She could practically feel the eye bags form under her eyes from the amount of sleepless nights she's gotten. She felt like she was drowning and no one was there to help her. She felt almost insane.
"Billie..." V spoke as she opened her door that morning before heading to The Alibi.
She got no response.
Billie wanted to respond, but she didn't have the energy.
"Billie come on." V spoke again.
Billie felt her heart ache. She didn't want V to worry about her.
"I'm fine, V." She responded, so drained.
"No, you're not. You've been like this for days."
"Please leave me alone."
"But Billie-"
"Jesus Christ leave me alone!" Billie yelled.
V knew what this was, after Monica, and Ian. Her heart dropped. Fiona told her about the time Ian did this. She was an exact replica of Ian.
V left the room and closed her door. She immediately headed over to the Gallagher's.
She opened the door and saw half the family in the living room and the other half in the kitchen. Fiona was in there making eggs for them.
Everyone turned their head towards the door after hearing it open, to see an awfully worried V.
Fiona turned her head to see her and she knew something was wrong.
"Hey, what's up?" Fiona asked as she made scrambled eggs.
"It's Billie."
Carl immediately turned his head and listened into the conversation.
"What about Billie." Fiona asked, starting to become worried.
"Come look." V spoke and walked towards the door.
Carl shot up from the couch and followed. V opened the door and looked at Carl.
"Stay here, I just need Fiona to see what's up first." V told Carl, trying not to get him worried.
"No but she's my best-" He was cut off.
"Carl." Fiona spoke.
He gave up knowing he wouldn't win against her. V and Fiona left back to Kev and V's house and walked upstairs. When Fiona saw her, her face and stomach dropped. She walked over to Billie and sat on the bed as she lay facing away from Fiona.
"Hey, Billie. Wanna go take Liam to daycare today? He misses you." Fiona tried. With no response.
When Fiona said Liam's name. She felt like she could breakdown right there. She always had a soft spot for him and felt a sort of responsibility for him. But, she couldn't respond.
Fiona stood up and walked back to V. "How long has she been like this?" Fiona asked. "Around 4 days now..." V told her.
"She hasn't eaten, showered, even gotten up from bed." V told her. "I was pretty sure I knew what it was, I just needed to know for sure." V said with a long sigh.
"Don't bring Carl here." Fiona spoke. "He can't see another person he loves like this." She said. "It will hurt him too much." She finished. V nodded and they left the room, closing her door.
Billie felt a single tear fall from her eye. She saw how upset Carl was when he saw Ian. And she knew what the effects of bipolar does to someone. She didn't want to end up like her mother, or Monica. But, Billie denied that she had it. She couldn't. She was okay. She was just a little depressed.
As V and Fiona got back to her house. Carl immediately asked what was wrong.
Carl saw the look on Fiona's face and knew something wasn't right. Before Fiona had the chance to say anything, Carl pushed passed her, almost pushing her over as he did so. He walked out the door with V and Fiona yelling at him to go back inside. He wouldnt listen.
He stormed into Kev and V's house and ran upstairs.
"No Carl don't!-" Fiona tried to stop him but was too late. He'd opened Billies door and saw her laying there.
"Billie." He spoke.
Nothing.
"Billie." He said, louder.
He walked closer to her bed. "Billie get the fuck up!" He yelled.
"Please." His voice cracked.
Billie turned her head towards him. He saw her face and he almost gasped.
She looked ill. Pale, bloodshot and sunken eyes, pale lips. She looked like the life had been sucked out of her. Like she wasn't there, just the body of her.
She looked at him with tear-filled eyes before turned her head back and curling into a tight ball in her bed.
"No..." Carl spoke as he walked backwards towards the door.
"Carl..." Fiona begged.
He ran down the stairs, tears welling up in his eyes, Fiona and V tried to call for him, but becoming unsuccessful.
Billie heard the commotion going on outside her bedroom. She wanted it to stop. She just wanted all of it to just, stop. She felt a tear fall from her eyes as she lay there, she felt, lifeless. Like there was nothing good in the world.
-
A/N: I really hope I captured what bipolar feels like, if I didn't please lmk somethings about it that I can add.
I love u
- lila
YOU ARE READING
eilish - carl gallagher
Fanfiction(PLEASE READ!!!) this story is discontinued thus far. i most likely won't come back to it but you never know. the writing is truely awful, none of it was drafted nor planned i just wrote as i went so if there are plot holes (they definitely is) jus...
