Sharing Pain《sambucky》

《this is my fight song》

"You don't wanna do this." Walker whisperes into the long halls of the warehouse, and Bucky's frown deepens.

"Yes, we do."James says, just as silently and reaches his metal hand back so fastly, only to whip it back and aim at Walkers face, but the blond is quick to raise the shield as a form of defense.

The fight escalates quickly after that.

Fists rain upon fists and Sam wants to bite his own ass. Why did he give up the damned shield? They wouldn't be here, if he hadn't.

While they are fighting, Sam can't help but notice that Walker really hits Bucky harder than him. But Bucky hits even harder, harsher.

For him, the shield has a deeper meaning than to the other two in the room, and it seems he is ready to do it all over again for this god forsaken shield.

So, Bucky, encaptured in rage, hits as if it was the end of the world. Sam doesn't want to hurt anyone, so he hits lightly. And Walker, Walker is on the defence as of now. He doesn't hit as hard, especially if you think about what this man could lose in this fight. Maybe Walker is good after all, he silently thinks.

All those thoughts dissolve in the wind when Walker throws Sam's partner all across the room, making him collide with an overloaded electrical pole.

He feels it ripping him apart once again, the electricity running through his veins and he is send back to the countless nights his soulmate endured those on his own. It isn't as bad as it was back then, it's just the flashback that sends him on his ass in shock, but Sam looks around again, trying to find where he might have gotten hit with it, only to look at Bucky's collapsed form on the floor.

His world has narrowed down to the man to the floor, whose limbs are shacking by the electricity he was just exposed to, the metal arm bend in a weird angle and shaking.

Sam swallows, hard.

It takes him five seconds of starring, when it just-

C

L

I

C

K

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fucking fuck.

He stares at Bucky, he stares at his soulmate, oh my fucking fuck, and thinks, analyses everything again.

The lack of pain in Sam's left arm, therefore the theory of the lack of a left arm. Immediately, Sam's eyes swipe over to the black and gold of Bucky's metal arm.

He thinks about how when he was younger, he thought about how cruel it was to want to make a child suffer, to want to see them in pain. Now, he knows, it wasn't a child. It was a terrified Seargent Barnes, barely reaching his thirties, pleading to finally die as HYDRA had fun treating him as an object.

He thinks about the breaks in which Sam felt nothing, no pain, no feelings, and shivers when he realizes those were the years stolen from Bucky as he relived them buried in ice, sleeping in his little cryo chamber.

He thinks of the electroshock that caused his soulmate, Bucky, so much fear, the one he literally dupped his soulmates biggest fear, and a picture of the chair appears in his head so fastly, he all but bursts into tears.

Bucky hasn't moved yet, and Walker uses that to throw Sam onto his back. Super enchanted hands reach behind Sam and he rips at his wings. Sam cries in shock, pushing against Walkers chest, but John is stronger.

Besides, Sam's mind right now is scrambled eggs, so there is that.

He looks up in Walkers face and almost cries. Those are psychotic eyes, blue dull and in pain, but before he cold ponder on why that is the case, Walker gets thrown off by Sam's soulmate.

All those years ago, he begged to be his soulmates knight in shining armor, only to realize he has been the damsel in distress all this time.

Everything afterwards is a blur, he can't grasp what is happening and he almost just hits himself up the head when he finally gets his senses in check, to realize Bucky is gone.

Next to him is a softly crying Walker, Torres that looks like he wants to be anywhere than here, and a bloody shield lying in the corner.

"You don't understand." Walker cries softly, and cuffed hands envelope his. Walker guides Sam's hands to his own cheeks and Sam can feel the tears getting his skin wet.
"You haven't found them yet, right? Your soulmate?" Walker elaborates, and Sam just looks at him.
"I did... He was beautiful..." Sam swallows, realisation making his throat close up.

There is a lot to realize today, it seems.

"He's dead now... My poor baby... I miss him, Sam... I miss Lemar." He cries softly, burying his face in Sam's hand.

"He was amazing. The only thing I didn't like were his homophobic parents. When they first suspected we were, they beat him blue." It seems Walker doesn't want to stop talking, and, really, Sam doesn't want to make him stop.

"I knew I had... psychotic tendencies even before signing up, because I was ready to slaughter them then and there. But it would have hurt him, I didn't do it. As a solution, he opted to marry a woman." He takes a deep breath, shakingly.

"I didn't let him. He is- was gay. The thought of being with a woman that way made him shudder, but at one point, he'd've done everything to prove his parents he's enough. He was enough. Lemar was The best thing in my life, but he's gone." He sobs, and Sam has to swallow his tears. Now knowing who his soulmate is and how close he got to losing them, him, multiple times, he can't help but sympathise.

"I married her so his parents would fuck off. But, they didn't. It broke my heart not screaming at the top of my lungs how much I loved him, not being able to. Got, Sam, bring him back to me..." Walker cries harder, and Sam desperately wishes he was able to do just that.

To bring back the dead.

But Sam ain't no god.

He's just a man with a frisbee and a soulmate that is afraid of love...