Sharing Pain《sambucky》

《drunk in love》

Sam returns home, the bruises of his own making him wince once in a while. The ones of his soulmate, of his supersoldier soulmate are long gone. And it finally, finally makes sense to Sam.

Of course, he was hurt so deeply even though it was 'only' 38 percent. His soulmate was an abnormal being with a higher tolerance for pain. Which... only makes everything more depressing.

Right now, he stands in Sarahs kitchen, trying off the dishes while she cooks his favourite meal to congratulate him on getting the shield back, when he blurted out "Bucky is my soulmate."

In shock, she drops the spoon into the pot and turns towards him, eyes wide, jaw hanging open.

"Bitch, what Now?"

"It's true! I swear it's true! I knew while we were fighting Walker..." He trails off, seeing Bucky's slumped up body on the floor again. Thankfully, Sarahs voice cuts through.

"Well, thinking about it, it actually makes sense..." she whisperes, and Sam can't help but agree now. It hurts, to really think about it, but it's actually true.

It does make sense.

A lot of things make sense, except for the fact as to why Sam was paired with such a complex being like James Buchanan Barnes.

But fate doesn't need logic to exist.

Fate just... does things.

And, conveniently, fate decided to make Bucky invite himself to help with the Wilson's boat.

"Need help?" Bucky asks, his arms holding onto his hips as he looks around the boat Sam grew up on, the Wakandan suitcase forgotten.

Sam can only stare.

Sam takes liberties and stares at him, but Bucky's eyes aren't focused on him. He searches in their bond for minor wounds on his soulmate's, on Bucky's body, and finally feels the minor ache in his left shoulderblade. He never considered it, but now, thinking about it, of course it hurts. Such a heavy prosthetic bonded to places it isn't supposed to be connected with, it must be painful.

Sam has to physically force himself not to reach out and massage the sore muscles in his soulmate's shoulderblades.

He's dreamed of those little moments shared with his fated one, but now, knowing their identity, Sam knows it's definitely the wrong move.

It will only drive Bucky away, and that's the least fucking thing he wants, so even though he wants nothing more than confess and cry in happiness that he finally found them, that he can finally protect them and even though he vowed to cuddle them up in a blanket two minutes after finding them, he can't do it, he keeps his mouth shut and his hands by his side.

He'll let Bucky figure it out on his own.

Though, that thought does make him anxious.

Bucky will run. Sam knows he will.

Once Bucky knows, he'll hide his tail in between his legs and go fugitive.

The man is so horribly bad at figuring out feelings, Sam knows instead of facing then straight on, he'd run.

So.he.can't.tell.him.

This whole soulmate situation is making Sam dizzy, and soon he finds himself at the table, surrounded by the old people in town.

Yet, when he turns around, there is Bucky, talking to Nathan, a veteran of the Vietnam war. Nobody likes talking to Nathan, really, the man is sarcastic and bitter, and... Well, he lost a leg.

So, the man never had something to smile about.

But not even five minutes after Bucky approached him, Sam's jaw drops violently to the floor when he hears Nathan laugh. He knows everyone copies his expression, and he can't help but want to cry.

The two are still talking when Sam gets approached by Sarah, whose eyes are also glued to the two probably oldest soldiers.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but Sam... you won the lottery."

"I've won the lottery." He agrees, and his, as well as his sisters eyes widen, when Bucky, in one total swift movement, slips his shirt off his body, the soldier not used to the louisiannan heat  .

"Oh, I've definitely won the lottery." He basically salvitates as he stares at those defined abs, and a feeling close to relieve makes itself known as he realizes most of Bucky's scars have long since healed.

Except for the one around the arm.

But Sam can live with that.

"Oh, but Sam? Damn, get your boy a leash, he's been flirting shamelessly with every woman on this occasion. He even flirted with Granny! Oh, and I'm pretty sure he flirted with Jo and Fin, too." She hollers and Sam swallows.

Well, if Bucky flirted with his high school exes, at least he has a functional gaydar, right?

And one only has a functional gaydar if they are queer themselves....

Right!?!

Slowly, he approaches Nathan and Bucky, and Nathan literally insults Bucky, or so it sound to Sam.

But to Bucky, having fought in WW2 and the Vietnam war literally knows it's just slang, so he's relaxed and calm, even laughing a little. But when he sees Sam approach, he can't help but snap his gaze to those warm, brown eyes. Subconsciously, he smiles already.

"I'll leave you two, man..." Nathan mumbles and swishes past Bucky and Sam takes his place again.

"You and Nathan?" Sam raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow and Bucky flushes. He swears, it's the Louisianna heat.

"Yeah! We thought in the same war. Just on different sides..." He trails off, remembering he fought for the communists and against his moral code.

But, well, he's done worse.

"Well, I'm glad you got some friends. And bashful attention of the female and male gender in here." Sam laughs, and turns around, so he doesn't see Bucky's eyes widen and his jaw drop open.

"What do you mean?"

"You've been flirting with everyone in here, except for me!" Sam winces as he realizes how jealous he sounds, but hopes Bucky doesn't notice.

But the other is bothered by something else.

"I didn't notice..." He whispers, blue eyes widening and mouth dropping open.

"Dude, that's fine, just stop flirting with my siste-"

"Sam, I didn't notice." Bucky presses, a huge grin on his face. He literally throws himself against Sam and cries softly into his shoulder and neck

"I'm returning to myself!" Bucky smiles, now holding Sam at armlenght away.
"I used to flirt with everything back in the forties, the Howlies got so annoyed by that all the time. Oh, my god, Sammy, I'm returning to myself!!!"

He selfcelebrates himself by dancing a little dance on the balls of his feet and Sam looks at the sun slowly leaving the horizon, then his soulmate happily dancing to music only he can hear and thinks

It doesn't matter why they are bonded with one another, Sam will I've Bucky unconditionally anyway, because, well

He's won the goddamn lottery.