"The more you hide your feelings, the more they show;
The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow."
The violent bang on my door forces me to open my heavy eyelids. Fuck, Man! Why can't people let me live peacefully? I curse inwardly and unwillingly lift my slackened body from the bed. Again, the moron outside of the door hammers it.
"Manik....open the damn door, Stupid. It's urgent."
This time it is mingled with Cabir's restive voice. Fuck...now what is he doing here? I wish I could have killed him years back. But in reality, I have to drag my sleepy and tired body to the door and open it too. Or else, it would be truly troublesome for me. So, I do what I thought. As the door gets opened Cabir barges inside.
"Why didn't you pick your calls?"
His first reaction is worried and annoyed. I run my fingers through my unruly hair and saunter at the table. The bottle of liquor is still kept on it, though it hardly has some drop. But enough to break my morning doze. I twist the lid and pour the liquid into my mouth...Ahhhh...it streams down leaving the pungent taste in my tongue.
"What? I am asking you something. And what is this? You again started your day with this poison?"
Cabir scolds me with concern. But I don't need this. I flip vehemently and spit,
"First of all, To hell with your calls. I don't attend any phone calls in the early morning. You know that. Secondly, this may be poison for you all but it's the medicine for me. And being a doctor yourself you must know that we shouldn't skip our medicine."
I show my teeth but my tone has the hidden sarcasm that he must understand. I walk to the cupboard to take out a fresh sealed bottle of Rum. To work my brain properly I have to fill my stomach with fuel.
"MANIK....Get a grip on yourself. Dr Nagpal called you zillion times. There is an emergency case and he wants you to operate. Ger ready. I have come to get you."
Cabir chides this time. I know I vex him a lot and this is nothing new. I pour some liquor in a glass and near him.
"And Dr Ahuja? Does he want to leave a patient's life in an alcoholic jerk's hand? What if the patient dies because of my treatment? The whole hospital will come under a scanner. It's better to choose some other sane doctor. Dr Manik Malhotra is a wrong choice."
I scoff out sitting beside my best friend. Cabir's jaws become hard. He replies ruefully,
"He chose exactly the right person because everybody knows that only Dr Manik genius Malhotra can do this miracle. Manik, no matter how much you try to stoop yourself low; you can't deny your destiny."
I turn at him and give a snicker,
"Destiny.....how can I deny it? These all are happening because of this destiny. I love this poison (I raise the glass) because of destiny. I hate her because of destiny and I want to forget everything because of this fucking destiny only. How can I deny this?"
I mouth scornfully and gulp the entire liquid in a go and grimace. Cabir was observing me with his penetrating eyes. Now, he replies with a grave voice and the mention of her name makes my mouth insipid.
"You can't blame Nandini entirely, Man. She did what she was forced to do and she was forced by not only her father but also you. Manik, destiny can't be avoided but at least we can fight against it rather than make its way smoother like you. If you hadn't done that then she would have fought for her love."
I spit my venom,
"LOVE? She never loved me. She only fucking played with my emotion. I hate her...I HATE HER FROM THE CORE OF MY HEART."
I scream on the top of my pitch and smash the glass on the floor.
...................................................
It's been one and a half hours. Cabir eventually has succeeded to get me in the operation theatre. Apart from a complicated case, the patient was adamant to be treated by me only. So, it was not entirely Dr Nagpal's insistence.
"He is a patient of high blood sugar. We can't use strong anaesthesia. It can risk cerebral oedema."
Anaesthetist Parul Juneja flaunts her knowledge. I laugh inwardly.
"Really? Thank God you mentioned it. Otherwise, I would have operated him without checking his sugar level."
My sarcasm flares her nostrils. Relax, Babe. If you want to assist me then you have to know how to handle my satire. Dr Nagpal intervenes,
"We have to use strong anaesthesia, Dr Juneja because the surgery will take a long time. Don't worry, I have already injected metformin. Manik, shall we start?"
He addresses me. I nod while picking the scalpel. The next 2 hours passed like 2 minutes. It always happens to me. When I use my surgery equipment on a patient's body it feels like I am engaging in some art. Time flows like a river.
"Nurse..."
I call for help. The nurse helps me to untie my extra apron.
"I think he should be kept in ICU for a couple of hours. Though he shouldn't have any complication."
I address Dr Nagpal. My eyes are dropping with tiredness. Right now, I need my ambrosia. I giggle inwardly to visualize Cabir's rolling eyes at me. I come out of the operation theatre. Patient's relatives approach me to ask about his condition. I only divert their attention to Dr Nagpal. As I try to walk past, one of them has a collision with me and the bottle of liquor kept in my doctor's coat pocket falls on the ground with a clanging sound. Shit, Man...this moron spoiled my mood. The reaction on their faces was worth watching.
"Booze! He is consuming booze inside of the hospital!"
One of the spectators exclaims with a horrendous expression. The other adds,
"He is drunk. Look at his steps. He is staggering. He was doing the surgery after consuming alcohol. My God."
Another uses an abusive word,
"Bastard...how can you....?"
He doesn't conclude but tries to grab my collar. But before that, my sucker punch lands on his jaw.
"GET LOST YOU FUCKWIT...."
My mouth revolts again. And for the next few minutes continues with verbal spats and scuffle. The last thing I can remember is that I was lying on the floor, trying to save my head and upper torso from their violent attack. Only then, Cabir invades the crowd and jumps on me. His scream resonates in my ears,
"STOP....He saved your patient's life. How can you be...."
I doze off having Nandini's smiling face in front of my dropping eyes.
"Bekhayali mein bhi tera hi khayal aaye (There is always a thought of you even when I am unthinking)
Author's note: So, Manik Malhotra's story began. It is the present day. From the next chapter, the flashback story will start. Keep reading. ❤
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Manik Malhotra (The Insidious love) Complete✅️
Fanfiction"Tears those don't touch the ground often make a hole in the heart." Manik Shrikant Malhotra is a medical student in AIIMS Delhi. Despite being a brilliant student of surgery, he has a severe anger management problem which characterizes him as a col...