Green Hope :: BakuDeku

Expectations

Katsuki yawned and shifted as he woke, groaning at the weight splayed out on top of him. He blinked a couple of times to wake himself more, peering down at the green curls tucked under his chin.

He sighed and relaxed. Izuku's breathing was steady and he lay like dead weight on top of Katsuki, arms tucked between their chests. He's still dead asleep.

The blond shifted slightly, careful not to wake him, and brought his arms up to wrap around his travel companion. He closed his eyes, letting himself doze back into sleep.

~

Both were woken with a start, Izuku quick to scramble to his feet and rush to a window.

"Explosion or gunshot, explosion or gunshot..?" Izuku muttered on repeat, searching the little bit of view they had through the window.

Katsuki pushed himself up, less alert than the greenette, and shuffled to a window on the opposite end of the apartment. "Izuku..."

The younger dashed over and looked out Katsuki's window. "Explosion... How far do you think that is?"

"No farther than a mile..."

Izuku bit his lip, gripping the windowsill. "Do you think it's Shindo..?"

Katsuki breathed deeply and pulled Izuku from the window, drawing the curtain. "It's possible... But it could also be a different group. Do you want to investigate or keep going south?"

The greenette bit his lip, gaze shifting downward. "South. Explosions could mean an aggressive group and we're not really in shape to bump into them, so if we just keep on our way, hopefully we'll avoid them."

"Alright. Let's get our things."

~

Izuku was definitely distracted and put off by that explosion. He kept glancing back over his shoulder, he's quiet, and sudden sounds startle him.

Katsuki doesn't understand. He was fine the night before. He slept well, at least from what Katsuki could tell.

He needs to distract Izuku from whatever is bothering him.

"You wanna know why I was so attached to Hobe? Why I was closer to him than I should have been?"

The grenette startled and looked to him. "Well, since we're in the apocalypse, you're put in a lot of dangerous, adrenaline inducing situations. Going through trauma with another person can form a bond-"

"Oh my God, shut up." Katsuki flicked his forehead and he jumped, rubbing the reddening spot. "No. Well, yes and no. The main reason was because... He reminded me of you."

Izuku halted, staring up at Katsuki with wide eyes. Katsuki stopped as well, meeting his shocked gaze. "Me..?"

Katsuki breathed deeply. "Yeah... Curly hair, freckles... Happy for no Goddamn reason... He was also who I pictured you as... Who you are now. Didn't take my shit, stared danger right in the eyes, held strong no matter what... Too kind and trusting for his own fucking good... His kindness and trust got him killed, yours got you locked up and violated, and by the same person no less... I told you I didn't hate you back in highschool and you assumed it was because I envied you for having been open about your sexuality. That's not it." He turned to fully face Izuku and squared his shoulders. "You want to know what my first thought was when I saw that video..? I have a chance with him."

Tears gathered in Izuku's eyes, jaw slack and fingers curled tight around the straps of his knapsack.

"While it is true that I struggled to accept that I'm gay... I had a harder time accepting that... I wanted to be with you. I didn't know how to accept it. I was a stupid kid obsessed with my image... Obsessed with what people thought of me and wanting to live up to their expectations. You didn't fit into that image - that expectation. I was scared of that and the only thing I could think of was to hurt you... Hurt you enough you'd steer clear from me. Hurt you enough that my feelings would just go away. It was the wrong way to go about things and I've hated myself for how I treated you... And again for how I treated you when you saved me." He swallowed, blinking a few times to clear his own tears out of his eyes.

"I'm not trying to make excuses... I just... I want to apolgize... For how I treated and for how I've continued to treat you... You deserve so much better."

Tears now streaked down Izuku's dirtied cheeks, lips pursed together tightly so he wouldn't make a sound.

Katsuki licked his lips and looked away, rubbing his hands together. "You make me want to be a better person, Izuku... I'm trying to be better because you deserve it. After everything you've been through, the last thing you need is a shitty travel partner."

That made Izuku laugh and smile, finally. He reached out and took Katsuki's hand. "You are better... And you're definitely the best travel partner I could've asked for. I'm so sorry the pressures of others turned you into a person you didn't want to be... I wish I could've seen it to help you... I wish I had been strong enough then to put up with you like I do now."

Both chuckled softly.

Izuku sniffed, stepping closer. "I accept your apology... I accept the person you are, Katsuki. Thank you for telling me all of this..."

"I thought you should know..." Katsuki squeezed his hand and breathed deeply.

The greenette nodded, glancing passed Katsuki. "There's an infected... We should keep moving."

~

Both kept quiet as they walked, but Izuku was noticeably more relaxed. He hummed happily, occationally playfully bumping into Katsuki, then stifled his laughter as he was bumped right back.

Neither spoke until they cleared the next house.

"So, you had a crush on me all throughout high school?"

Katsuki groaned, sinking down into the sofa. "Don't phrase it like that, dumbass. It sounds stupid."

Izuku laughed, sitting beside him. "Was I your first love?" He teased, batting his eyes.

"Wouldn't you like to know." Katsuki gently pushed Izuku's shoulder, just earning himself more laughter.

Izuku toed off his boots, goofy grin still spread across his face.

Katsuki raised a brow. "You seem awfully happy with knowing I had feelings for you for four years."

The younger shrugged, turning to face Katsuki, leaning against the arm of the sofa. "It's kind of reminding me of a little boy with a crush on the little girl at the playground, ya know? He likes her, so he pulls her pigtails and throws rocks or wood chips at her and makes fun of her dress."

"Are you seriously comparing me to a toddler?"

"I might be." Izuku smiled, tilting his head.

Katsuki rolled his eyes and shook his head. "How's our food?"

Izuku breathed deeply. "Not super, but I found some cans in the pantry and some water in the laundry room. We can cook some of the rice and beans tonight. It'll be fairly filling."

"Alright." Katsuki stood and grabbed the knapsack. "I'll go ahead and cook. You sort through the cans and pack what we can take."

"I'm on it, Kats."

Katsuki paused, setting the can of beans down harder than he had intended. "What did you call me?"

Izuku grinned again, bumping their hips as he passed. "Kats! Not like it?"

He stood still for a few moments, staring at the counter. He swallowed, hoping he wasn't blushing. "It's whatever, nerd."

-----

1240 words

Finally admitted he had feelings!

Will he admit to still having feelings, though?

And because of Hobe reminding him of Izuku so much, did he harbor feelings for him as well..?