Waifus Are Forever

aaaAAA YOU!

SCOTT: (via voice over, showing footage of Super Smash Brothers Brawl) Crossovers, one of the media's favorite pastimes. (cuts to a POV shot of Scott holding a chocolate bar and a jar of peanut butter) You take two things, smash 'em together, and what do you get?

SCOTT: (in his chair, staring at the peanut butter cup in his hand) Holy sh*t, how did we get here?

SCOTT: (resumes voice over, including general Smash Brothers footage) But with making something as big as a crossover, there's a lot to be kept in mind as to how true one can be to a series. What formula do you stick to? How are the characters going to interact? What is the reason for them crossing over with each other?

SCOTT: (sitting at his desk) And that's just the basic questions, here. The bigger one to ask, though, is what is considered the greatest crossover video game of all time? (looks to the side, which cuts to a copy of Playstation All Stars Battle Royale, and quickly cuts back to him) Well, that's one off the list.

SCOTT freezes as if he were a paused video- and he is, as the real SCOTT is editing his upcoming YouTube video.

SCOTT: (sighs) I really need a break.

He gets up from his chair and makes his way to the living room, where a person is sitting snugly on the couch, channel surfing. SCOTT wraps his arms around that person lovingly, and that person is you.

Yes. You. You're SCOTT THE WOZ's spouse. And also he's a vampire. And also also you're a long-lost monarch of an island nation. And also also also your adoptive parents sold you at a young age for drugs and SCOTT is the first person to truly love you.

This is why you really need to read my crack fanfics before reading this, it really adds to the context.

Y/N: (softly) Hey, Scottathon. (You pull him close as he sits on the couch) How's editing on your video about crossovers going?

SCOTT: I mean, it could be worse, I could be having another existential crisis.

You both continue to channel surf until the news catches both of your attention...s.

Live news footage of armies from Hyrule Warriors and Fire Emblem Warriors, respectively, violently clashing is being broadcasted live, albeit with footage as shaky as a Super Smash Brothers leak. Live footage of two chicken reporters in the studio, CHICK and STEW, are in the corner, watching in horror.

CHICK: Frankly, this reporter is too scared to leave this studio, out of fear for what is going on outside.

STEW: (holding his earpiece close to whatever could be considered his ear) Well, Chick, it's not too far away from here, so we might wanna stay tight for a while.

CHICK: Of course. I hope the producers bring back that poor cameraman soon. (To the audience) Remember, folks, to stay inside. Local authorities are not to get involved for now, as the threat itself is not inherently native to any dimension involved.

STEW: Although finding the couple who fits the prophecy sometime soon would be real nice.

CHICK: Indeed, Stew, indeed. We have the prophecy up and running on our website as we speak. Well, this website, not- (sighs) you get my point.

Y/N changes the channel to the Teen Titans Go! movie. ROBIN (not to be confused with the one we saw before) is shaking his booty in 3D.

SCOTT: Wait, why did you change the channel?

Y/N: Were we watching the same program? Scott, I love you, but if you're honestly worried about something that looks like a shitpost incarnate, then you're wasting your time.

SCOTT: Weren't you there when I was becoming aware of the border?

Y/N: Yeah, all the way off in the corner, off-screen.

SCOTT: See? Y/N, I love you, but I don't think that the absurdity should be the problem here. There's a full-on war out there over... wait, what is it over?

You and SCOTT pull out your respective cellphones and go onto the website.

Y/N: It's a love prophecy?

SCOTT: Last time I checked, love and war aren't exactly at odds with each other. Just take a look at my relationship with the Wii U.

Y/N: Okay, fuck it. If you care, I care too. I have to step in and do something about this war.

SCOTT: B-But I don't want you to get hurt! Besides, I hate dealing with constant threats like these, especially if we might be the couple.

Y/N: And I don't want you to, either. You can join me if you want, or stay behind here to guard the house. Or try to see if Wendy's Employee got lost in the carnage or not.

SCOTT: Wars tend to make him crave the 4-for-$4, he'll be fine.

You kiss SCOTT's cheek and head for your bedroom to gather battle supplies. SCOTT sighs and sits on the couch, staring at his phone as he does.

SCOTT: (to himself, quietly) I don't recognize any of these descriptions... is this really about us?

Y/N, dressed in whatever battle armor you want to wear, heads for the front door, but not before squeezing SCOTT's shoulder reassuringly.

Y/N: I'll be back soon. I promise.

SCOTT gives you a weak smile as you leave. As soon as the door closes, he sighs.

SCOTT: Well, I guess all I can really do is watch TV, or be productive and edit. (A beat) Yeah, TV sounds great right about now. I hope streaming services don't make the situation unbearable!