Waifus Are Forever

Scottathon

REN, HARU, AKECHI, and DARIOS are eating breakfast at a kitchen table. MORTY, who has no need to eat, watches over DARIOS fondly.

AKECHI: (forced) So... what is the plan for today?

REN: I thought it over and decided that we need to build our own army. You know, since there's already at least two going on.

AKECHI mumbles something and pretends he's more invested in his pancakes. Not because of the whole "AKECHI loves pancakes" joke, though. Pancakes slap so hard, especially chocolate chip. And pumpkin. Damn I've only had that once in my life and it was over a decade ago but I remember loving it.

HARU: (encouragingly) Well, it's a start.

DARIOS: I'm not sure if there are any former Gristonnian soldiers within Lianna's army, and at this point I feel checking that out personally is too big of a risk.

HARU: (sips from his glass of milk) Well, it's not like they have a country to go back to, especially with its ruler hiding like this.

DARIOS: I-I'm not hiding! I'm just taking a tactical retreat until we have a means to fight back.

MORTY: And you have every right to, my love.

DARIOS: (blushing) I'm so in love with you.

AKECHI clears his throat awkwardly, causing REN to cringe.

AKECHI: Am I the only one who doesn't want to be involved in this?

HARU: (to AKECHI, warningly) Akechi...

AKECHI: Look, I love Ren. And I think I'm putting up with you pretty good.

HARU: This is literally my house that you've been crashing at for a year now.

AKECHI: (ignores his remark) But I think my limits are being pushed here.

REN: Fine. (Gets up and storms away to the staircase) I'll handle the recruiting myself, then. Good fucking morning to you, too, Akechi.

REN stomps up the stairs, mumbling to himself as he does. DARIOS and MORTY look at each other in discomfort while HARU glares at AKECHI.

AKECHI: What? I'm just saying!

Meanwhile, REN crawls under the covers of his unmade bed and grabs his phone from the nightstand. He scrolls through his notifications. Most are texts from unknown numbers due to the news broadcast but a Twitter notification catches him off guard and opens it. His jaw drops.

MESSAGE: Hey you, Scott here. I saw your message on the news and wanted to help as much as I can. See, my spouse, Y/N, is part of the war that's been going on and I think that Y/N's fighting on the wrong side of history. Can we meet up to talk more about this?

REN screams internally and externally, alerting everyone in the kitchen downstairs. He rushes down the stairs, phone in hand, and waves the device around wildly.

AKECHI: Well that was quick.

REN: SCOTT THE WOZ WANTS TO HELP.

MORTY: (confused) Scott the Woz?

HARU: Ren's favorite YouTuber.

DARIOS: So you're telling me that, out of nowhere, we have a YouTuber aiding us in this debacle?

REN: Well he said Y/N is part of Lianna's army. I think.

AKECHI: (gasps) What!?

HARU: That can't be!

MORTY: (confused) ...who are these people...?

AKECHI: Y/N is a god among men. Everyone loves Y/N.

REN: Surely Y/N has some ulterior motive for joining Lianna.

AKECHI: I hope so. I can't imagine this world without Y/N, never mind one where they're against my best friend.

HARU: (quietly) Oh, so now you care.

AKECHI: Haru, this is Y/N we're talking about.

HARU: Fair enough. I love Y/N above anyone and everyone, even my own significant other. (to REN) Sorry.

REN: (shrugs) Eh, it's okay. I feel the same about Y/N.

MORTY: So what do we do now?

REN: Well, during your discussion on the glory that is Y/N, I asked Scott if he wanted to meet up and he said yes.

HARU: But... Scott lives in Ohio.

DARIOS: Which isn't far from here, I've heard. Doesn't Ohio share borders with California, New England, and Aytolis?

HARU: (lightly smacks his forehead) How did I not remember that?

REN: He wants to meet with just me at our local Walmart.

DARIOS: And? Are you going there?

REN: (nods) Now, actually. I trust him.

HARU: Good luck honey. Do it for us.

AKECHI: Do it for Y/N.

REN nods and leaves for the local Walmart.