Waifus Are Forever

Maps

Y/N, SCOTT THE WOZ, AKECHI, ADACHI, ANTI-COSMO, and MARUKI all collectively vibe in the kitchen.

Y/N: I can't believe you guys went through all of that. I'm so sorry we didn't do anything sooner.

ADACHI: (sips coffee from his mug) If it makes you feel any better, Y/N, we've been doing pretty good since then. Well, at least before this happened.

MARUKI: So now the real question is what it is, exactly, that we do?

ADACHI, MARUKI, and ANTI-COSMO all look expectedly at you and SCOTT.

SCOTT: ...fight back? I dunno what else you want me to say.

ANTI-COSMO: Considering that your friend is the reason why we came in the first place-

A smooth piano ringtone emits from ANTI-COSMO's pants. He pulls out his wand and observes the glowing star.

ANTI-COSMO: I have to take this.

He anti-poof!s out of the room, leaving the remainder of the group unsure of where to go from here.

ADACHI: I mean, yeah, if it weren't for Wendy's Employee telling us to find you, we wouldn't be here. We kinda expected there to be something when we showed up that wasn't a beatdown.

SCOTT: I know, sorry. As much as I want to, I just can't think of anything. I'm not a strategist, I don't play RPGs.

Y/N: Well, we have the general idea of fighting back, right?

MARUKI: Yes.

Y/N: So what kind of resources do we have? Any weapons, vehicles, armory? I mean, we can't exactly go to a store right now with all those portals turning this place into a war zone.

ADACHI: I've got a gun.

AKECHI: I had a gun. (to you and SCOTT) Still don't know where it is.

SCOTT: We'll give it back if you promise to behave.

AKECHI: Fine, fine. I promise.

ADACHI: (continuing) The only other things we really have are a social media presence, which won't do jack shit, and my boyfriend's magic.

You think back to the exploding door and the way it was repaired so quickly. Suddenly, it made sense. An idea forms in your head.

Y/N: Why don't we use that, then?

ADACHI: Really? The fans?

Y/N: Well, we could use that to help recruit people, but I'm talking about the magic! We could just teleport to Lianna or whoever's pulling the strings and absolutely destroy them! (a beat) N-Not to the point of killing them!

ANTI-COSMO: (entering the room) ...well, sorry to burst your bubble, but that's not going to happen.

Y/N: Wait what

ANTI-COSMO: Our magic supply has entered a critical state because of the war. I'm afraid I'll have to preserve my powers as best as I can. (sighs) Of course I use it right before I'm told about it.

SCOTT: There goes that plan.

MARUKI: Isn't there anything else we can do?

AKECHI: Well... we could still make our way to Lianna, correct? We could get into a car and make our way there instead. It'd take longer if we went in a vehicle, but it's better than nothing.

SCOTT: Huh... I never thought about it that way, for some reason.

ADACHI: Great! So we just plug it into Google Maps, and-

Y/N: I don't know if that's even an option anymore.

Everyone looks at you, demanding an explanation.

Y/N: Scott and Akechi are basically on their radar at this point considering what happened at the concert. I mean, if we go on a set route on a widely established app, they're going to figure out where we are eventually. And if even if they don't on purpose, the portals might open up on our way there. We'll have to avoid them as best as we can.

It takes a moment for this to settle in for everyone. ANTI-COSMO clears his throat.

ANTI-COSMO: Does anyone have a map of the United States on them?

SCOTT: Yeah, I have a few lying around. (after getting a few confused looks, defensively) They're video props, I'm not a fascist.

Soon, they are all pored over a map of the United States, particularly Ohio, resting on the kitchen table. ANTI-COSMO stands in the middle, a red marker hanging loosely from his mouth.

SCOTT: Wait, why are we letting him be the strategist? This is my state!

ANTI-COSMO: (pops marker out of his mouth and into his hand) I've been alive longer than your entire bloodline has been so much as an idea but, sure, you know Ohio better than I do.

You glance carefully at the kitchen door behind you, hoping it doesn't explode.

ANTI-COSMO: If the epicenter really is in Massachusetts alongside that girl, and if it's been going for this long, then we should be in the clear for a bit before crossing state lines. There's no telling how quickly those portals will spawn at this rate, though.

Y/N: So what do we do?

ANTI-COSMO: (points marker at you) You, Y/N Wozniak, had the right idea about avoiding the beaten path. It'll take longer, but we'll be safer that way. I'm afraid that's our best option.

SCOTT: Yeah, uh... one problem. I don't have a car big enough to fit ourselves, an entire convoy, and my emergency Madden 08 stash. (flashes his fangs angrily) And nobody takes away my emergency Madden 08 stash.

Y/N: (to SCOTT) Wait... we have a convoy?

SCOTT: (retracting his fangs) Yeah, in the basement. It's in between the props, costumes, and leftover bootleg games.

AKECHI: ...is that where you put my-

SCOTT: (flashing his fangs again but now with spooky red irises) YES, YES, ALRIGHT!? I PUT YOUR GUN DOWN THERE! JUST GET IT ALREADY!

You put your hand on your pookie's shoulder, allowing for him to calm down and revert back to normal.

Y/N: I think we should all go down and take a look. You never know what we might need, right?

Ever the agreeable person in the room, everyone nods in solidarity with your statement. SCOTT pecks you on the cheek for your awesomeness and you blush.

Y/N: Alright, now that we've settled things, let's go check out the basement before we go any further.

Everyone files into a straight, even line, with SCOTT helming the way down the stairs into the basement. Being the last in said line, you give the front door another passing, melancholic glance.

Y/N: (sadly) I'm sorry, Lianna. This is for your own good.