Waifus Are Forever

Tours and Tastes

Elsewhere, CORTEX and N. GIN are leading the prophesied four, as well as HARU and DARIOS, through an elaborate castle.

N. GIN: And to your right is the room where we manufacture all of our lab assistants!

HARU: Manufacture?

CORTEX: What? And violate OSHA policies with real humans? That's the last thing I want to deal with right now. (looks around) Ooh! This is one of my favorite places! (throws a dramatic gesture) Behold, the stain glass windows!

The group stops at a set of beautiful and intricately designed glass windows. Colors of all shades beam across the hallway, giving nearly everyone an ethereal feeling.

MIDNA: (creeped out) Uh... are there any that aren't themed around you?

I probably should have mentioned that every stain glass window was themed around CORTEX in some way, shape, or form, but all to gratify him. Most were just showcasing his face, but all were showcasing his ego.

CORTEX: No, I think I've got a good thing going right here. (clasps hands) Alright, then. Let's head over to the mess hall. Hormonal cravings are killing me right now.

And with that, he leads the group to an unsurprisingly gorgeous dining space filled with more stain glass windows of himself. As he moves, his undershirt shifts, revealing a glimpse of what appears to be a Hatsune Miku binder. Nobody says anything.

...

The subsequent meal period flies by, with everyone socializing and getting to know each other while robotic lab assistants serve rotisserie chicken because it was the only thing I could think of for this scene.

DARIOS: It's been a long time since I've had an experience like this. Thank you.

MORTY: (looking at his fiance) Of being hunted down...?

DARIOS: No, I mean being in a castle and feeling welcomed in it. It's... nostalgic, almost.

CORTEX: (shrugs) Honestly, I don't get what the big deal is. You didn't cheat on anyone, right?

MORTY: Of course not! I could never live with myself if- well, not live, but- you know what I mean!

DARIOS: (gently grabbing onto MORTY's hand) We're both consenting adults who are ready and willing to move onto the next phase of our lives. Lianna has always been just a friend to me. (looks down) I thought that friends would always have your back regardless.

CORTEX: Probably a case of unrequited love, if you ask me. I've dealt with a few before.

N. GIN: (intrigued) Really? I don't remember you going through something like that, Master.

CORTEX: (uncomfortably) Uh... it was before we met. But I moved on from it, and so should she. At least I didn't open rifts into other dimensions so I could get that person back.

N. GIN: ...the lack of self-awareness in that statement is comical.

CORTEX: (defensively) THAT TIME WAS DIFFERENT, OKAY? (sighs) Look, the point is that we're on your side, Darios. That prophecy kind of mandates it. You can use... (a beat) about 90% of our resources for your cause.

AZURA: (surprised) 90%? That's quite the investment, Doctor.

CORTEX: I mean, as long as you guys return everything back to normal by the end, I'm cool with it. You can even train here, if you'd like.

MIDNA: Train? You mean, like, for combat?

N. GIN: We do it a lot with our mutants before sending them off to the world. Just a few modifications would be enough to make it... not so deadly. And we've got plenty of weapons for you guys to use: swords, lances, axes, grenades, ray guns, straight up guns, bows, daggers, mechas, a nuclear warhead-

REN: (gasps) Wait a minute! (points at N. GIN) You're the one in the prophecy with awesome weaponry!

N. GIN: (sheepishly) Well, I do my best.

HARU: That just leaves one more, right? The one who "has it all," I think.

REN realizes the opportunity he has at his disposal here. While a part of him feels that nobody will take him seriously, the overwhelming majority felt that it would somehow be the least bizarre thing any of his companions had encountered or even done.

REN: I think I met him.

Everyone gasps, including CORTEX and N. GIN. N. GIN because he's directly involved, and CORTEX because it sounds like juicy gossip.

DARIOS: Did you really?

MIDNA: (on the verge of losing it) AND YOU DIDN'T TELL US!?

REN: (raises hands defensively) That's why I said "I think!" It was in a dream, you know how those things are sometimes.

HARU: What happened?

REN: (takes a deep breath) It was while I was unconscious. I was in this beautiful garden with all of my friends. (to HARU) The old gang.

HARU holds his hand over his mouth in silent shock.

REN: (continuing) And there was this ginger guy with them saying he was going to join us soon. I think he said his name was Joe? Glass? Something like that. It's starting to get fuzzy.

The room is quiet for a moment.

CORTEX: (eyeing N. GIN) Well, you said he was a ginger, right?

REN: He looked more human. (to N. GIN) No offense.

N. GIN: (unaffected) That's not remotely the worst thing that's been said about me.

HARU: (to REN) Did you really see them?

REN: I can't say for sure, but it felt like I did. They were saying how proud they were and that they were rooting for us. That's exactly what they'd do in life, too.

Another moment of silent pondering.

MORTY: ...in life?

REN: Yeah. Why?

MORTY: (lights up) WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT SOONER! I CAN HELP!

REN: Y-You can?

MORTY: (confidently) Of course! The best way to speak to the dead is through the dead, after all! (to CORTEX) Do you have any candles?

CORTEX: I've got all of the scents from this season at Bath and Body Works, and then some.

MORTY: Perfect! Point me in the right direction of where we can do it, and we'll start our seance!

CORTEX: Uh, alright then. Everyone, follow me... again.

Filled with hope, the group follow CORTEX as he makes his way out of the dining hall. He had a room he needed to clear for a seance.