A Glimpse Into My Life (Let Go and Let God)

Chapter 19

Oh my god! I can't believe this has happened. Hodge cannot be dead, no not now.
We had plans, he was suppose to come back this saturday to discuss my college and everything. Now where am I going to start from?

Those crazy thoughts plunged deep into my mind. Now with Hodge gone, I'm never going to college. I'm never going to fulfill half of my dreams.

He's the only man who cared about me. He would call me and check up on me. He was the father I never had. He loved Kyle and I as his own.

This is a tragic for us. We lost someone great. I mean I lost my whole life. I lost my entire future.

They say he died of high blood pressure. It doesn't surprise me at all. That man went through a lot and maybe over thinking found a way across to him.

One would say Laverne Maddison Lotts was the cause of her husband's death but really it wasn't her fault.
I would blame everything on MacKinnon Davis, everything.

If he wasn't to pugnacious, cruel, mean to her, she wouldn't have suffered temper tantrums. She wouldn't have become a drunkie and Hodge Lotts wouldn't have died.

There goes my future right into the grave. He hasn't even applied me on his ward for college yet. We haven't even had a talk yet.

I couldn't stop crying. Paige came by and so were the others from school but that wasn't enough. They don't know what I was going through at the moment.

I remembered when my mom and Hodge first got together and she took us from our Dad through court. Hodge welcomed us into his home and treated us as his own children. His love for us was genuine.

I'll forever miss this man. I don't know about Kyle because he wasn't bother by this. He was nowhere to be found during these trying times.

Every night I slept with tears in my eyes because there were no future here for me. Where am I going to start from?