A Glimpse Into My Life (Let Go and Let God)

Chapter 23

Seeing him cry, made me cry too. Maybe he's right. Maybe you don't get those chances.

I sat there, listening to him. I couldn't utter a word but listen plainly.

"Look around you. Do you see anyone there? Do you see people who care? There is no one there Kenz, absolutely no one. You got to do what you got to do to survive or die trying at least. You think if I had a choice, I would do this? You think if I could sit and decide and put together, I'll become a sex worker? A bloody criminal," He elucidated.

"Can I get to think?" I asked.

"Not when you have people dying. Not when there is no hope for you. You don't even get to question yourself at the moment," He said. "Your family needs you. They need you Kenz, it's not a sin when it's the only thing to do. When you're ready, give me a call."

He got up and left.

Hearing this really made me cry. He's right though, he is. I don't get to decide, I don't get to think or pray.
I get let nothing happen to any of them.

Why should life be this hard? Why should we have to suffer?

Dear God, I pray I get through this. I am going to do this for my family. Will it be a sin if I do the wrong thing for the right reason?

That night I cried, prayed and everything. I don't know what I was going to do. I couldn't even think straight.  Maybe I would just take up a phone and call him and say I'm ready or I could refuse and let my mom die and Ryn.

And I did. I called him that same night. I told him I thought about everything he said. I told him he was right and wrong and I was ready.
I don't know what I was getting myself into but I was ready.