10 Minutes

"I'm on my Way"

November 13, 2021

The morning traffic in San Jose was insane as usual. Sanem didn't mind it so much as it reminded her of her beloved Istanbul. The drive from the beach house into the capital was no small treck but once a week she would make her way there to teach a class to the children that looked forward to seeing her. At first it had been a fluke that she would teach art. That was not the plan at all. She was still in the deep sludge of her misery and her world seemed so dark and cold. Oddly enough as time passed, she used it to paint and sketch; a friend of Alejandro's invited her to teach a class in the children's hospital. She had said no at first believing that the interaction with the children would require to much investment. She loved children but her wounds were fresh and to give her heart once again was more than she could imagine enduring. After much coaxing and realizing there was a true need she reluctantly agreed. Rather than sale in her wound the children's company, quiet strength and joy for live were the salve She needed. Her act of he orient and kindness was return ten fold and it ultimately allowed her to breath again. To see beyond her personal pain and to perhaps dream a new dream. The children touched her more than she could ever thank them for. Their innocence and generous hearts let he see that life was too short to live in the past and wallow in self pity for what was and what could never be again. She decided then and there to pursue her craft one hundred percent and share it with the world and that was exactly what she did. As a result she became an instant success in the eclectic scene that is the art world and because of that she gave back her time and money to the children. It was a visceral thing that made her feel connected to the art and the children. It also allowed her to dive into her craft in a way that blocked out everything else. That time was well spent and she would be eternally grateful. She smiled remembering how genuinely curious the children had been with her and how patient they were with her and her lack of language skills. Between them and Alejandro and Jamie she learned Spanish fluently in a short time. Her photographic memory didn't hurt either. Her car pulled forward in a slower than molasses lane but there was nothing to do but sit and wait. The music on the radio played some 80's music and she tapped her left foot along with the music as the light changed and the row of cars ahead of her began to move. Another two streets and she would be at the intersection where the Children's hospital was located. The cars inched along and then came to a halt at the light. She craned her head out of the Jeep's window and saw what the problem was in this slower than normal commute. There was a car in the road with its blinkers on. Apparently some type of motorist emergency. Two men stood with their back to her as her car moved alongside the stopped vehicle. Curiosity made her look over to see what the matter was. Steam was rising out of what must have been the radiator of the old truck. As it billowed above the shorter mans head her heart nearly stopped when she saw an almost complete profile of the tall man standing next to him. She was so caught up in staring at the man that she didn't move at all and jumped nearly out of her skin when the honking of the horns emanating from behind her began in earnest. She pulled forward slower than she needed to unable to take her eyes of the man as she drove forward. The honking of the horns, the haze of the steam and his stooped over body now prevented her from getting a better look. It wasn't possible and yet she could swear on any holy book that it was him. "Can Divit". Her voice spoke up at barely a whisper... "Did you just see what I saw? Can Divit . In San Jose no less". She was staring straight ahead,  lost in memories and a sea of cars. How could he be here of all the places in the world. Only her immediate family knew where she was and she had sworn them to secrecy. They would never betray her. Her grip on the steering well slipped as the sweat on her palms was evidence of her growing anxiety and increasing heart rate. "No.... That wasn't him. It can't be" she spoke out loud. Her voice didn't miss a beat and replied "What if it is? It certainly could be. He's tall and although he wore a loose fitting shirt his build looks about right and that hair. My girl, not many men where their hair like that". Her voice which had only recently become active again spoke up only increasing her panic. "I didn't see his hair how did you see it?" Her voice said nothing. "Come on Sanem relax. You are mistaken. You saw a man who vaguely resembled him in height and a well formed chin and patrician nose". Again the horn shrieked behind her as she was traveling at a slower pace than the rest of the lane. She threw her arms up in the air and shouted "alright. Ya! Ya!". Here nerves were on end as she turned into the parking lot adjacent to the children's hospital. She followed the arrows and drove past the guard into the parking structure and down to the level where her parking stall was located. "Allah Allah Sanem. Now you're seeing things. Calm down and think. You haven't heard from him in over a year she thought to herself, "but you blocked him Sanem, how was he supposed to contact you?". She scrunched her face and covered her ears trying to block out the voice that was trying to drive her crazy just now. "Oh god, what if it is him? Why is he here? Does he know I live here? Is he looking for me?" Once again her voice broke into her thoughts "and if he where, what would you do? Would you see him or run to the nearby airport and runaway once more". She stared ahead at the brick wall directly in front of her and considered the question her voice asked. But she didn't have an answer.