10 Minutes

"Baba...?"

Sanem sat quietly in the car next to Can as they rode back home. Can held her hand in his and it felt so right and so good. It had been several weeks since her injury and the treatment had been painful and tedious. Her bandages had been changed twice a day, the wound had been debreeded, saline washes, antibiotics, tetanus shots and all the rest. She had been well taken care of. It would  help her recoup and allow the tissues of the laceration to heal and indeed she had healed well. She had a little ways to go but she was happy that nothing more had come of it. The cosmetic surgeon who was the best in the country had personally come to see her and had now offered his assistance and a plan to address any scaring or other issues that might arise. Sanem hadn't been too concerned with that at the time but she couldn't help feeling a bit vain and wanting to keep her appearance normal. Her normal, her before the wound. "Can you don't think I'm being superficial do you? I know that most people will never see a scar on my thigh but...." Can smiled at the woman holding his hand and nodded his head slowly. "You are the least superficial woman I know". Returning his eyes to the road he squeezed her hand hoping to impart the truth of his words further. "The surgeon simply provided you with a clear plan to address any puckering or keloid scars the wound may develop as it heals. The surgeon did a fabulous job the first time and we shall see if anything is needed. Most likely it will be a red scar that dissipates over time". She looked at him as he spoke and she felt better and ok with her decision to keep any corrective surgeries as an option. If needed. She looked back toward the road they travelled and smiled feeling better already. "I know something that might help you with your relationship to your new scar?" Can said as he kept his eyes on the road and drove. "Relationship? With my scar? What do you mean Can?" Can smiled and settled in his seat a little better as he told her about the various scars on his body and where they had come from and how they had each meant something in his life. Some as lessons, some as mere accidents and others as life changing moments. They each were a part of him and had made him, him. Sanem pondered that for a moment and then said "so this shark who bumped me, and thankfully decided I wasn't worth having as an appetizer has left his mark on me and I'm somehow better for it?" She turned and looked at Can incredulously before continuing. "That's something to think about. Im not sure i see it more than a lesson to not going swimming alone in the ocean though". They were both silent for a moment when she added much more quietly "I had made my decision then though Can. I had already decided to give us a chance. To give you my trust. It happened just before the bump. I was caught in the rip current but before that I was recalling all the messages you sent me that I finally read and all your voicemails I listened to. Before that point I never really believed that you had ever thought to search for me or come after me or even that you might want to". Sanem stopped speaking for a moment as her voice had gotten lower. Can bit his lip wanting to stop the car and hold her then and tell her how much he had looked for her but she wasn't done speaking, not just yet. "I didn't know how badly you felt Can. I only felt my own pain. It's true that I had nothing to do with any of it and it hurt me, sometimes it still does that you chose not to believe me, but looking back on it now I can see that you had some things in your past that made it easier for you not to trust when you were confronted with so much proof". Sanem squeezed Cans hand tighter adding her other hand and sniffled a little. "I was frightened when you declared you would fight for me and then your silence at my answers made me suspicious thinking back at how you left me without a second thought". She quieted and looked up at him while he drove and saw the tears against his cheek. "That's what I believed you did.....cut me out of your life like I wasn't worth your time. Not even a little bit." She looked away and felt the car move off the road and into a turnout and then further into the grassy areas off road. Can held the wheel with both hands now and she saw how white his knuckles were. She hadn't intended on having this conversation here and now but the words just seemed to come. "Can.... I'm sorry that what im saying is hurting you but its what I felt then, believed then. Believed for nearly two years. Then you stormed back into my life and turned my life upside down. I was honest when I told you by the lagoon that I didn't know if I could trust you but ..... out on the water thinking about all those messages and the words you spoke to me for so long without ever getting a reply from me somehow made me see that you were fighting for me from the beginning. You were fighting for me when I didn't know it and when I didn't want anyone to tell me anything about you. You were fighting for me when my family and friends and your family only saw the mess that was left behind and blamed you for it all. You were alone with your pain and I was unaware. On the water was when I realized that I wanted desperately to trust you. I loved you. I love you now and I wanted to trust you and that's when I decided to trust that you wouldn't abandone me a second time and that whatever comes our way we will fight for each other no matter what. I decided to fight for you too Can. Out there in the water before the bump".