10 Minutes

Sandcastles

The weeks after Can's incident in the park had been filled with meetings with Metin, visits to the hospital to spend time with his mom and time spent, just them, alone at his cabin. When she first set foot back at the place that had seen her dreams come to an end, she hadn't realized just how important and impactful this place really was. Thankfully the cabin had been cleared of all the damage that Can had caused that fateful day so that as she walked across its threshold with Can following behind her she was met with a blank slate. In every sense of the word. "Caaan?.... Noldu? Where is everything, what happened?" She turned, looking at her fiancé who's face was a mixture of sadness and exhaustion. They had spent several nights at his mothers bedside with only a little bit of respite from his sister. Leyla had her hands full with a newborn but still came to the hospital to be with Can and their mother. As she looked up at the man she loved she could see that he wasn't holding up as well as she had hoped. Being here had somehow brought things full circle full for them both, but he seemed to be suffering it worse than she was. It wasn't that she hadn't expected to be impacted by being in that space again, it was more like she was relieved that it wasn't all she had feared it would be. They had spent many beautiful times here as well. She had lost her virginity to him here. It was a magical place that had witnessed some tragedy, and just like a human being, it would recover as well. She decided then and there what her mindset would be regarding this little bit of heaven and it wasn't going to be tears and sadness. Can on the other hand would need more than a change in thinking to look past the hurt and pain they both experienced here. "Sevgilim...did you have everything removed?....all the furniture...your photogra...." She hadn't finished her sentance before he turned around and walked away from the cabin. She turned in a circle, looking back at the bare walls and empty room and then followed him out. He was far down the trail by the time she walked out of the cabin. She looked down at her hiking boots she had removed upon entering and decided against taking the time to put them on and instead simply ran down the trail after him in her socks. The trail was mostly dirt and leaves so far and she was sure to catch him before he got into the dense foliage. As she rounded past a large clump of berry bushes she slowed to a stop and stood quietly. There ahead of her, in a clearing off to the right of the trail, was Can; down on his knees bent over with muffled sounds breaking through the silence. She felt her heart lurch in her chest. She instinctively wanted to run toward him but she held back for a moment wanting to give him his space. She knew how difficult it was to come face to face with bad memories that seemed to reach back out of the darkness to haunt and torment you. He was a strong and proud man that had been dealt quite a few blows in the last few years. Some he handled well and others, like their relationship; had been a casualty of his failings but he had learned and grown from that experience, they both had. Part of that growth had come from dealing with their issues and baggage instead of hiding them and assuming that by ignoring them they would go away. Although they had made up and promised each other a lifetime of commitment and happiness they still would have to address the monster under the bed from time to time. Life was not perfect or tidy and once they had learned that life lesson it had made learning many others that much less difficult. She slowly moved toward him until she stood at his side and rested her hand along the top of his shoulder. He didn't look up at her but simply turned to her and wrapped his arms around her legs and waist with his head pressing against her belly. His hold was so tight it was as if he were holding on to a lifesaver while out to sea. She caressed his hair that was loose and whispered words of love. "Can...we are alright now. You and I survived our pain and hurts and we made it back to each other my love. Perhaps those times will never be eliminated from our minds but they only made us stronger, more committed, more in love". She wriggled out of his hold and knelt down in front of him taking his face in her hands as she looked him in the eye. "I love you. I have never loved another and never will. For me there is only you. It was you then, it is you now and it will only ever be you. You hurt me profoundly my Sevgilim. I broke into a million pieces but it was you who finished putting me back together. It was you who didn't allow me to give up on us when we got our second chance and it is you who I will fight for, live for and grow old with. Do you know why Sevgilim?" Her beautiful and sensitive man looked back at her through tired cognac colored eyes while he stared deep into her soul. "It's because I can't be complete without you. I was born to be yours and you were born to be mine. Our past and present and future are all a part of our love and only we can choose what comes next. I chose you Can Divit and I would choose you again and again until my last day. I choose you and only you! My heart feels love for you Can". She pulled his hand from around her waist and took it in her own turning it palm side up and kissed the center of it with soft lips and then turned it around and placed it at her heart. "My heart is yours Can, and there isn't a thing you have done, can do or will do that can ever change that. Not now and not ever". Sanem pulled at his neck until his lips were a millimeter from her own and whispered into the silence of the day "you are my life Can. The love of my life. I love you". She let her lips gently glide across his until they were locked in a passionate kiss she knew would take them the rest of the afternoon to see finished.