10 Minutes

"Why are you here?"

November 13, 2021

The drive to the Children's hospital seemed interminable. The traffic was just as bad now as it had been earlier. When the driver finally pulled up he paid him quickly and grabbed his camera gear and exited walking at a fast pace witch seemed to match the beating of his heart. The dream he had had in the early hours of the morning harp left him feeling extremely vulnerable. When the phone call letting him know she was there came it seemed surreal at best but he had dreamed of this moment for so long he simply gathered his things and walked out of the room with his folder and gear. No second thoughts. Fear however, that was something different all together. He was terrified of what her reaction would be. He deserved anything hurtful she might say to him. He would simply take it. He feared her disdain and her inattention more. If she simply refused to speak with him knowing she was so close he didn't know what he might do. He needed to explain to her why he had done what he did. Not to excuse himself but to demonstrate in some small way that he wasn't a monster but rather a wounded man with trust issues that were unresolved and she had been the person he took them out on. The least responsible and the one he could sabotage his future with. He knew he would be asking for too much for her to understand him but he needed to let her know that he had believed her once he had gotten sober and that he had not gone from her to another woman. He had tried and of that he would forever be disgusted with himself but he hadn't done the deed even though he had come close. His one hope was that through all the pain he had caused her that she might still have some regard for him or at least not hate. To be hated by her would be the worst thing he could think of aside from loosing her to someone else and knowing that it could have been him. As he walked up to the sliding glass door he felt a sudden rush of excitement tinged with fear knowing that he would soon see her for the first time in years. He wanted desperately to believe that she would speak to him but he prepared himself for the worst. It was no more than he deserved.

Sanem chatted with the office staff and caught up on everyone's busy lives as was her custom. She genuinely enjoyed speaking to the ladies in the office as they all had varying backgrounds and most were her age or slightly older. When she had first arrived she barely spoke to a soul but once she got involved with the hospital she had quickly made friends with them and they had taken her into their hearts and home giving her the female companionship and warmth that she desperately yearned for. Time had helped to heal her wound, not completely; but certainly enough to approach her pain with a new point of view. She had learned to keep it at bay knowing that dwelling on it wouldn't change a thing and it would lead her down a road she didn't ever want to be on again. When the children arrived from their rooms she greeted each one with a smile and a question and then told them a story from her childhood and proceeded to start the lesson. She was grateful for this time with them. She truly loved children and knowing that this was a small accomplishment for them amidst their numerous medical procedures, she was honored to be of help. As the class wound down and she walked among the students to check on their progress she felt a sudden tingling run down her spine as if something or someone had called out to her but she knew that was not the case. A sudden rush of fear and apprehension threatened to overwhelm her as she sensed a change in the room. The energy in the room seemed palpable and charged with emotion. She knew instinctively that she should not turn around and simply leave but she couldn't help herself. As she turned around to face what she could only call a threat to her calm and well constructed life she knew before she saw him that Can Divit stood before her. As beautiful as she remembered him. As all consuming a presence as he had ever been with his near perfect physic and self assured posture. His eyes were on her already and she couldn't help but notice that they seemed filled with fear and something else. Perhaps sadness. Each moment that crept by seemed like an eternity and although she knew she was speaking she didn't know what she was saying nor where she was going only that he followed her down the hall and into a conference room. When he stood standing after she invited him to sit the sound of her voice seemed to come back to her and she finally heard herself say "why are you here Can? What do you want?"