10 Minutes

"I want all of You"

November 3 , 2021

Sanem awoke from the recurring dream of the day that everything fell apart. It had been months since she had fallen down that rabbit hole but in the hours just before dawn she awoke to a pain so deep in her heart and soul she heard herself whimper as her eyes opened up to the inky darkness of her room. She had learned some breathing techniques that she found helpful for this situation and she employed them until she realized she wasn't in her bed alone. All at once her sadness and pain evaporated and instead she felt a cold panic come over her. The strong arms and hand she felt tucked around her waist held her close as she struggled to piece the events of her dream and her reality together. This was most certainly not Can. In all her nightmares he had done away with their love and left her alone to face the questions and the world. He had been merciless when she had gone to see him by giving her false hope. That had been his cruelest act. She felt her heart race as she pulled in shallow breaths hoping not to stir the one next to her. Images flashed in her mind, they were all of a sudden as her realization that she wasn't alone broke her of her nightmare and she allowed herself to simply be for a moment. Not to run, and not to hide but to just be. Alejandro. The warmth and scent of the man next to her was Alejandros. Images of their day in the sun and all that had transpired up till then assailed her mind and goosebumps replaced the cold sweat she had felt earlier. The man who stood like a god before her on the beach cradling her head in his large hands before gently taking her mouth was who she was sharing her bed with. "Ah Sanem, Ah. What have you done now". She remembered the entire day, the gentle kiss. How she wanted more but how determined he was to tread carefully around her as if though she was a ticking time bomb. She remembered telling him that she felt a sting of jealousy at seeing him fawned over by the female population wherever they went. How excited she was when he entered a room and made her the object of his sole attention. She felt her heart quicken at the image of his eyes smiling down at her and how their hazel color turned to a deep green when they dilated as his mouth moved inches closer to hers. She remembered how he tasted, his soft and supple lips and how hard his body felt. She remembered the feel of his skin on hers, chest to chest. She remembered all this while she lay in his arms and then she remembered it all.

Can looked at the documents he carried in his backpack for the thousandth time. They had been crumbled and nearly trashed many times but each time he stopped himself. These documents, the evidence with which he burned down his future and his happiness were nothing but a pile of lies contrived by three people who had managed to take the most important thing away from him. Sanem. In all honesty, they had only provided him with the ammunition, he himself had pulled the trigger. Now the papers that felt more like a weight in his hand were a witness to his lack of character and his poor judgment. They were a witness to the demise of Can Divit the international phenom but they also became a witness to the Can Divit he was today. Or the One he hoped he was. This Can Divit would be patient, understanding and driven to one purpose in his life and that was to get Sanem Aydin back. He didn't even have the pleasure to say that she was Sanem Divit and he could only blame himself for that. Metin had tried to tell him, Emre had warned him and Osman had pummeled him into the ground for what he had done. Yet he hadn't reacted soon enough until she was gone. Out of his life. It had been so long ago when she was in his space that she had almost become surreal in his memory. Now as he looked at the documents with the scribbled red ink marks that he had made in order to address each and every accusation against her he thought about the day that he would give her these papers and tell her that although they had been used to break them up they had also served to show how deeply she had loved him. Just how much of herself she had risked for him and just what kind of woman she really was. He needed desperately to get the chance to see her and tell her all of these things and hope that she still had a place in her heart for him. He had done the unforgivable to her and to himself but he wouldn't give up now. Not when he was so close.