She leaned against the door of her hotel room, unable to move one inch. Her heart was beating like crazy inside of her chest. Why was he here? Did he finally come along to tell her it was all over? That he regretted what had happened all the previous months in Germany? Did he wanted them to be friends again – oh god, hopefully not! Or did he come to tell her that he still wanted her? Loved her? That he wanted to be with her? That he made a big mistake by leaving her behind?
Her breathing had increased. She was not even sure if she wanted to open up the door. Was she ready to hear him telling her goodbye? To hear his reasons of why he hadn't called her once, hadn't visited her, hadn't left a note?
"Stevie?", she heard him calling while still knocking at her door.
Stevie.. So we're back to Stevie. No more Steph. No more Stephanie. He was going to tell her goodbye!
"Please, open up! I know you're in there! I know you're standing right in front of the door!"
How did he know?! She felt her stomach turning again.
"I can see the shadows of your feet, Stevie! Stop pretending you're not there!"
When she still didn't open up, Lindsey started to bang at her door obsessively. He called her name over and over again and with each time it got louder. He was going to wake up the whole floor, she was sure. As she suddenly heard one of the other hotel guests yelling at Lindsey to shut the fuck up, she had enough and opened up.
"Are you insane?!", she hissed.
He didn't answer and pushed right into the room.
"I can't remember inviting you in!"
"Stevie, I have to talk to you!"
"Oh really?! You have to talk to me? Now? After five fucking weeks you think it's time to talk to me?! What happened Lindsey? Huh?! Do you have any idea how I've felt the past five weeks?! Have you ever thought about that? No call! No message! No anything! And then when you see me accidentally at court, you think it could possibly be necessary to talk to me again?! You know what?! Fuck you, Lindsey! I can't believe you did this to me! I just simply can't believe it! After all that happened between us you just..-"
"Would you please stop it, Stevie?", he interrupted her.
He looked at her and his eyes looked so sad, so tired, so exhausted – she didn't care. He had hurt her so badly!
"The hell do I stop, Lindsey! Why are you here? Wanna fuck me again? Because you can't get it up for your wife? Or have I healed you from your erectile dysfunction so you can now bang her again? After all, she's 21 years younger! I'm sure..-"
"STEVIE! SHUT THE FUCK UP, WILL YOU! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED!", he yelled suddenly and his fist hit the wall so badly, she feared he had broken his wrist. She startled. It had been a long time ago since she had seen him that furious. Suddenly, both of them were very quiet but heavily breathing by their emotional outbursts.
"Can we please talk? Stevie, can you please listen to me? There are things I need to tell you!"
She nodded. His voice sounded so serious, so different.
They sat down on the couch, not meeting each other's eyes, until he finally looked up at her, tears welling in his beautiful blue ones.
"Stevie, something terrible happened. That's why I didn't call you, didn't come to you. I haven't changed my mind. My feelings for you are still the same."
And then he broke apart. And he cried so desperately, that it hurt her. Never ever had she seen him like that. Not even last Christmas, that they had spent all alone at their timber cottage and he had lost it completely because he hadn't been able to spend it with his children.
