𝐁𝐚𝐝 𝐀𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐬|𝐋𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐘𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐢 𝐗 𝐎𝐂|𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐲𝐲_

-13-

( !TW! This chapter contains talk of r@pe and self-harm.)

We weren't written in the stars, we were burned in the flames of our past.

Katsuki had made the awful decision of staying in the states for a few nights. She had been offered a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity by Eric: Becoming the head trainer of the woman's and girls facility.

Katsuki wanted to say yes, she wanted to save those girls the trauma had endured. But she couldn't bring herself to leave her entire life behind.

And so she sat in the VIP section of a club with her business associate, aka her new boss. Eric had taken James' place, but she couldn't bring herself to trust him. She hadn't trusted any man, any man but him. That was until she could no longer.

The alcohol began to run through their veins as they sat and talked, watching the people around them dance like it was their last night alive.

(!TW!)

Katsuki was admittedly having a good time, that was until Eric brought up her training.

"You two seemed really close, he always talked about you, you know? Were you two a secret thing?" She tried her hardest to keep it together, her poker face was like no other. "He was a great mentor."  A lie.

"Cmon, something had to be going on-"

"Do you really wanna know, Eric? Your brother raped me almost every day I stayed here in here the states. I pleaded for help and nobody listened. And he wasn't the only one, there was a good ten of them one night - the night it all started..."

She took a deep breath, concealing the tears that would fall any second. "I hated myself for years because of what they all did to me. Each and every last one of them will get what's coming to them. Karma's a bitch, and the universe is just getting started."

As much as that statement was true for those men, Katsuki had no idea how much it applied to her own being.

༻❁༺

Light sat contemplating for what felt like hours, his mind never leaving from the brown-skinned, curly-haired girl he had become so fond of. If this was the past, his mind would be everywhere but her. He hated her then, but he didn't come close to understanding his feelings about her right now.

His eyes rested on the desk in front of him as he replayed memories of them in his mind. Letting out a small breath, he turned towards Ryuk who was happily eating an apple in peace.

"She's got your mind in a twist, doesn't she?" He rolled his eyes in response to the shinigami. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

"The two of you have a bad habit of assuming I'm not knowledgable. You haven't talked in weeks, Light. You're suffering without her." Light scowled at the smirk that rested on the shinigami's face, wanting nothing more than to wipe it right off of him.

"What are you implying?" Light searched Ryuk's eyes for the answer to his question, coming up completely empty-handed.

"Think about it, think about how much you've done for each other. Enemies don't help each other, or even remotely care about each other. I told you that this was a dangerous game you were playing, maybe you should've taken some of my advice."

༻❁༺

Near was my new L in a way. Of course, there were key differences like instead of buying a basket of sweets, I buy him toys as presents. Near doesn't acknowledge my absent-minded spinning next to him.

I had told him all about my trip to the states, leaving out the part about James and his disgusting doings.

Near reminded me so much of L... He was almost a spitting image of him in a way as if he was the younger, reincarnated version of him. And it was starting to become all too familiar.

And after what felt like months had passed, Near would finally catch on to what was happening, and it was too embarrassing to even understand.

"You have quite an unhealthy attachment to me, Katsuki. I'm sure you're not aware of it, but if you're, then my advice to you is to deal with it properly." I sat there completely and utterly shocked.

Near was just as analytic as me, maybe even more. "You're my friend, Near. Nothing more than that." He hummed in response. "You imagine L when you look at me, yes? Well, I am nothing like him. L was naive, he stuck his neck out and it got him killed-"

"-No... Stop, you don't get to speak about Lawliet as if you knew him - as if you understood him." I took a breath, not wanting to blow up and cause a scene. That was the last thing I needed right now. "L was a beautiful soul that I wish I fully appreciated sooner."

And with that, I left, not going far enough apparently.

Mello spotted me with teary eyes, trying to hold it together. He never showed me that he cared, nor did he ever even like me. I didn't expect him to comfort me or even acknowledge me for any longer than he already has. But him approaching me instantly put me on guard.

"Why are you staring at me so hard?" My head snapped in his direction, anger fuming out of me. "I see you haven't changed." Rolling my eyes, I wiped the tears from under them and fixed myself.

"Neither have you. That's not a compliment, by the way." I wanted to get away from him, I wanted to go home and cry into my pillow all day, I wanted to be depressed and unstable for once in my damn life. But that wasn't who I was.

I spiraled in strategic ways, I made sure the moment didn't last a lifetime.

So I had to make sure what I wanted with Mello only lasted a night.