"Your not going home?" The dude asked me now looking at me with a questioning look. I look back at him. Who is he to question me? Not my father I'll tell you that much.
"Um.... Business? Find yours." I said still heading back to my box. He suddenly...
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So. Let's just say today could have gone better. First I argued with my second-born child. Let's not even get into what was said. Then I find out that someone is stealing from me. Then the stealer was also was a rapist. While trying to kill the rapist a sassy little girl comes into the picture.
Now I'm chasing said sassy little girl because she stole my fucking wallet. How she stole my wallet is the problem. She came up close to me like she was going past me. I guess slipped her hand in my pocket the ran off. I didn't even realize that she took off with my wallet until I got to my car, and started looking for my keys. By the way, my keys are hooked onto my wallet.
First, let's talk about how she stole the African-American Don's wallet. I mean that is a real skill. I know I just dropped a bomb on you but like yeah, I'm the African-American Don. Woohoo. note the sarcasm.
Well, like I said I'm chasing her along with my men. Man, this kid is either fast, or I'm just out of shape. When I finally get close enough to get her, before she runs any more. I snatch her in my arms. Mind you I'm breathing heavily like I'm about to pass out.
"You okay there old man?" She asks. I look at her and realize that she is not even breathing hard at all. But that's beside the point. She called me OLD!
"I am not old, I'm just out of breath," I say sitting down on the concrete. Making her sit beside me. "Well, the grey hair on your head and the wrinkles on your face are screaming. 'IM OLD'." she responded.
She rolled her eyes and giggled. I realize that she rolls her eyes a lot, and has a never-ending supply of sarcasm and comebacks.
"OH! OH! I got another one. You're so old that I can picture you in one of those life alert commercials." She giggles again. "OH, NO! I've fallen I can't get up!" She added, but this time she full blown laughed.
"I'm not old!" I say while frowning. "Don't frown" she says while looking at me. I look at her thinking she stopped with the jokes, but of course, she proved me wrong when she said, "It makes all the old wrinkles show so much more." She laughs so much that she falls back, and rolls on the ground. Thankfully she went back softly.
She suddenly snorts and then did something I never thought was possible laughed harder. Once she caught her breath I asked her what I came here for. My keys and wallet.
"Ok, now that you have made fun of me. Give me back my wallet." I say or more like a demand. "Ask nicely," she responds. I gave her a 'what the fuck' look.
"Just give me my damn wallet," I say gradually getting louder. All she does is make this tsk tsk tsk sound. "Didn't mommy tell you to use your manners.?" She asks and mockingly made a sad face. Then she decided to taunt me by opening the wallet.
"Oooh, it looks like you have money, your driver's license, OH, and your keys. Now, that I have this I can easily just steal your car." She says still with a mocking tone. "You know I can just report it stolen." I say in a 'Duh' tone.
"What would you say to the police? 'OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, a seven-year-old stole my wallet.!' Sounds pretty pathetic to me." She says while making a sad face. This just proves my overall thinking. Kids are EVIL!
"Why are you out here by yourself anyway?" I ask genuinely curious. A seven-year-old shouldn't be by herself at night or ever.
"Who says I'm by myself?" She questions defensively, but I know from her body language that she isn't by herself. She shifted one foot to the other.
"You know if you are by yourself, I can take you home, and help you find your mom tomorrow. With that statement, she rolls her eyes. Now when her eyes get stuck like that, imma be laughing my ass off.
"You sound so much like a pedophile when you say that sentence. That's like an old man, about your age, asking me to come to his van for some candy." She says and surprise, surprise she rolls her eyes again.
"I mean I have kids-" she cuts me off, "and that's supposed to make me feel better? That just means you have a whole family of pedophiles, child molesters, and abusers." I mean, she is right, but do I look like a child abuser.
"Let's make a deal," she says while rubbing her hands together like a light skin dude. "Okay, what's the deal?" I ask curiously.
"If I go with you I stay with you until I want to leave." I nod my head thinking it over as she continues, "I also get a gun since I don't fully trust you right now." She finishes.
"Okay I agree, but why don't you want to go home?" I question, so if people do ask questions I will be able to answer. "That's for me to know, and you to never find out." She says again but in a defensive tone.
I let it go. Hopefully, when she trusts me she will let me know why.
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