Remember me

Chapter 19

Mia

After the final bell rings for the day I trudge out the old green school doors towards my car when Marley catches up with me. "Feeling better?" she asks, linking her arm with mine. "By the look of you this morning I wasn't sure you were going to make it through the day without a nervous breakdown." I grimace and Marley halts her steps, stopping me in the process. "There's more going on than I know about and you need to spill, girlfriend." I remove my arm from hers and put my face in my hands, "ugh I don't even know where to begin" I groan.

"Ok..Start at the begin-" Marley breaks off midsentence looking over my shoulder. "Ok Mia, new guy is really staring at you. OH! He is making major heart eyes." I turn around quickly as Marley says "Don't look!" I make eye contact with Nick. He looks back for a moment so I raise my hand in a wave. Nick puts his head down and turns on his heel, walking away in the opposite direction. I release the breath I was holding, feeling rejected.

"I'm obviously missing some context here" Marley says, "but that boy is either in love with you, or hates your very existence."

"I'd go with the latter, since he can't even bother to return a wave" I reply with a grimace. Marley looks at me strangely, like she's trying to find an answer in my face. Eventually she says "Dinner is on me tonight, let's go have a chat." She slips her arm back in mine and together we head towards the car.

Over a taco dinner Marley and I rehash what happened this morning with Kimmy and then Coles response in the library. "Ok let me get this straight" Marley says while squeezing lime juice onto her carne asada, "Cole hurt his own shoulder, blamed you, and let Kimmy give him some relief. Then he goes and accuses you of cheating on him?"

I snatch the lime from her and squeeze what's left on my own taco. "I don't know if it was an accusation really, more like a suspicion? Plus didn't I pretty much do the same thing to him? I don't even know what exactly happened with Kimmy."

Marley rolls her eyes. "That girl has been coming up way too much lately. I don't trust her or her bouncy artificial hair. But that's beside the point, Mia. What I'm saying is Cole cannot blame you for injuring his own shoulder. That's just ridiculous and unfair."

I purse my lips. She's right, but I still feel guilty. Marley points her fork at me, "I know that expression. There's more. Spill!"

I run my hands over my face and think it's a good thing I didn't wear any makeup today, I would look like a raccoon by now. "Well, you know how I told you Nick was an old childhood friend?" I say, not really knowing how far to go with this. Marley entered my life in the 7th grade when her dad was stationed here by the marines. Nick had left the year before and I didn't really talk to anyone at school anymore, having had closed myself off from the world at that point. But Marley came in like a whirlwind, complimenting me on my fashion choice (neon green chucks I had colored myself) and declaring us instant best friends. She single handedly drug me out of my pit of self loathing and despair. I've never told her what happened a year prior to her coming, but she's seen the rest. Marilee was still drinking when we became friends and she's been there through all the transitions since.

"I remember" she replies. "Your parents dated or something? And then he moved away.. When he came back he didn't remember you."

"They were engaged, yeah. Marilee and I lived with Nick and his dad for a few years.. It was.. bad?" I sigh, "I don't really know how to explain it to you, but let's just say it wasn't good." Marleys eyes soften and she reaches over and squeezes my hand with hers. I continue, "They eventually, um, separated. Nick and his dad moved back to North Dakota. We were 11. That was the last time I saw him." I pause to swallow the emotions welling inside me. "Anyway, Nick has been acting like he didn't remember me. But I knew he did, it's just not something you can forget, you know?" Marley nods her head in understanding. "I guess I've just been fixated on making him remember. Or at least admit that he does. Which in turn has made me a little emotional I guess." I look down at my hands, nervously crinkling my straw wrapper with my fingers.

"You love him" Marley says.

I look up at her, she's staring at me but there is no judgement in her eyes, only understanding. "I think I never stopped" I reply. Marley nods slowly and says "You love him. But as a friend? Family? More?"

I take a long drink of my water, thinking before I reply. "I don't know Mars. I mean we were just kids, you know? And I've no idea what's happened to him in the years since. I can't even say I really know him anymore."

"But your drawn to him" Marley replies and I nod my head once, agreeing. Marley takes a bite of her taco and chews slowly, taking her time before finally replying. "Marilee would probably never let me in the house again if she heard me say this but- honestly Mia, I never loved you and Cole together." "What?" I reply dumbfounded by both her admission and the abrupt change of subject. "I thought you liked Cole, you were always supportive."

"I've supported you while you've dated Cole, and I'll support you if you decide not to date Cole. I'd support you if you decided to date a turtle. All I'm saying is that there's a passion in you since Nick showed up that I've never seen in you before. It would be a shame to lose that."

This time I reach over and grab her hand to squeeze and say, "You're the best Marley, really. I'm so lucky to have a friend like you." She squeezes my hand back and says with a wink "And don't you ever forget it."