If Not for You (Completed)

Chapter 12: Kazzi

12 Kazzi

I didn't see Kale until lunch on Wednesday, which meant he'd been late that morning. I watched him as we sat at our respective tables, I in a small corner, surrounded by friends, and him across from us at a table for six. Alone.

He tucked his grilled cheese sandwich, apple, and milk into a brown sack, and I resisted the urge to punch Brad in the face as he sat there calling across the room just to mock him. Cody as well. And that time, it was Lisa who started throwing food, taking a carton of hot tomato soup and tossing it to splatter all over Kale's lap.

He leaped so quickly out of his seat that the chair almost fell backward, as he grabbed up handfuls of napkins to wipe the soup off of himself as best he could before walking away. Everyone laughed, and not once did he so much as look in my direction or acknowledge my existence at all. I was hurt by it, especially since he'd blown off my attempts to talk to him the night before. But then, what would I have done if he had said something to me, if he'd asked for help in front of everyone? I couldn't be sure that I wouldn't yell at him too, just to spare myself the humiliation.

On the guise of going to the bathroom, I separated myself from the gang and looked for Kale. I spotted him exiting the men's room on the opposite side of the school. He had his head down, hands in his pockets. The red stain had been washed from his pants, only it looked like he pissed himself instead. I heard the few people that walked by him snicker as they did so and had to resist the urge to knock their teeth out. Poor Kale just couldn't catch a break.

I grabbed his elbow when no one was looking, and tugged him down the adjacent hall, into an empty classroom. The lights were off, casting us both in the red glow of the exit sign above the door as we faced each other.

"Are you okay?" I asked him softly, and without a word, he nodded. "How long are you going to keep ignoring me?" I said then and was embarrassed by the amount of hurt I felt tied to that question. "I kept your secret... I thought I've been proving myself."

His brows furrowed, and he took a step forward, then another and another until he had backed me against the wall and braced both hands on either side of me, trapping me.

"What are you doing?" I breathed, and very quietly, he shushed me. "Kale, what are you doing?" I asked again as he simply stared at me, his blue eyes looking a slight shade of purple beneath the light. "You're scaring me."

"Don't be scared...." He whispered, his eyes still sweeping over my face. "You asked how long I was going to ignore you..." I nodded, my breath rapidly fleeing my lungs as his face hovered inches over mine. "You did keep my secret... but I'm still your secret, aren't I?" I couldn't answer, just stared at him as he met my eyes. "If I took your hand, and we walked back into the cafeteria together, would you welcome it?" he asked, still whispering.

I licked my lips as I considered it, my previous thoughts coming back to me, then scattering as he leaned his face so close that his nose brushed against mine, our lips almost touching.

"Or if I wanted to kiss you right now...? He said, so softly I could barely hear. "Would you let people see?"

I swallowed, my heart pounding so hard in my chest that I could hear it pulsing through my ears as I gasped for breath. Kale huffed, just slightly, and withdrew back a few inches. I was almost disappointed and caught myself wishing for just a second that he would have kissed me.

"You wouldn't. Because to everyone else in this school, you're popular, and I'm a freak, and you don't want me staining your reputation." He said softly and finally withdrew his hands to free me.