If Not for You (Completed)

Chapter 3: Kazzi

3 Kazzi

I couldn't believe Kale was alive. After all those years, the boy I'd fallen in love with, who I thought to be dead, was alive and well after all. It sounded like something from Shakespeare. And yet, true to Shakespearean romance, there was tragedy as well. Kale wasn't the boy I'd loved and lost. He was someone else now; someone closed-off and cold; hard-bred from a life on the streets. And he didn't seem to care about me anymore. In fact, he'd more or less told me straight up that he wanted nothing for us. Not that we'd had much way back when, but it was still a hard pill to swallow in one day. A whole group of pills.

I stood for several moments outside the spare room, steeling myself before going in. Tears built in my eyes again as I prepared the bed for Kale. I hadn't been in that room in almost six years for any reason but to clean, and it was hard to do so just then. Granted, Kale probably wouldn't object to the couch after years of sleeping on the ground, but I couldn't do that to him. So, I sucked it up and threw back the sheets on the bed, and smoothed them out. At least tonight, maybe for the first time ever, he'd get a good night's rest.

He was still soaking when I returned, and he sat up as I entered, immediately checking to make sure he was still covered.

"Relax, you're hidden." I said and extended a hand to him. "Are you ready to get out?" He nodded, took my hand, and allowed me to pull him up and hand him a towel. "Let's get you dressed." I said once his lower half was covered. Turning, he began reaching for his clothes on the floor, and I stopped him with a hand on his arm. "No, no! Not those. Those are going in the trash."

His expression was hurt and more than a little embarrassed when he looked at me. "They're all that I have."

"Yeah, well, I plan to rectify that." I answered, and with my hand still gripping his arm, I pulled him toward the bedroom, not giving him a chance to argue.

He followed wordlessly as I opened the door, then stood frozen in the doorway, his eyes sweeping over the room with an unreadable expression. Standing beside him, I did the same. Done up in shades of pastel pinks and purples, the sun shone through the slats in the blinds on the far wall to leave a square of orange on the beige carpet. On the left side was a full-sized bed made up with white and deep purple sheets, folded back. A small white nightstand was on either side of it.

On the right side, was the one thing I could barely stand to look upon. The crib was white, with a pink lacy skirt and sheets. A changing table sat against the wall adjacent and was overloaded with little stuffed animals. Boxes of diapers littered the floor. I could hardly look at it. Clearing my throat, I stepped into the room.

"So, um...I usually have some extra clothes for my patients down at the shelter..." I started toward the closet on the left wall, beside the bed.

"Kazzi..." Kale's voice came softly, and I stopped mid-step, unable to face him, knowing the expression that I'd find.

So, not moving, I looked over my shoulder at him. "Yeah?"

I heard him cross the room, felt the heat radiating off his damp skin as he stood behind me, and heard the subtle hint of jealousy in his voice when he asked, "Are you pregnant?"

Sniffing against threatening tears, I shook my head. "No, I'm not."

"Where's the baby?" His tone seemed genuinely concerned, which opposed the hostility he'd been trying to exude, but I didn't want to talk about it. That was one line I couldn't cross with him yet.

Clearing my throat again, I flung open the closet door. "Anyway, these will probably be too big considering how thin you are, but they're better than your old stuff for now." I pulled down a pair of jeans and a plain black t-shirt, opened the small chest of drawers in the corner for underwear and socks, and handed them to him.