One more day

chapter 20

I wake up in a near-identical position with Nick, us spooning and our legs tangled together. Nick wasn't really one to show affection, now that I think about it I'm pretty sure he isn't affectionate with anyone but me. Fuck I need to pee. I gently move his arms from around my waist and he starts to move a bit, his eyebrows furrowing in his sleep. I quickly replace my body with a pillow and he relaxes, snuggling into it. I stretch my arms out above my head whilst yawning before rubbing the sleep from my eye. I waddled my way into my bathroom, locking the door before relieving myself. I went to wash my hands, looking up to see my reflection looking back at me. After drying my hands on the towel I lifted nick's sweatshirt up, which completely swallowed me, to inspect my body. My stomach looked bigger than it did yesterday and my thighs looked even more like fat tree trunks. I choked back a sob whilst lifting my hand to pull at the skin on my stomach. I knew I should've kept going on my run yesterday. I glanced over at the door before opening the cabinet under the sink, pulling out my scales and gently placing them on the cold tiles. I took off Nick's hoodie and took a deep breath whilst stepping on the scales, maintaining eye contact with my reflection as I was too scared to look down. When I finally decided to tear my eyes away from my reflection I wish I hadn't. Looking at the number blinking back at me I felt the tears forming in my eyes. I gained a pound. Panic was the only thing I was feeling. This has to be a joke, I can't go back to what I weighed when I was fat. I stepped off, waiting for the number to go back to 0 before stepping on again. I was met with the exact number again, identical to the point, only this time it was accompanied by the stray tear that had left my eye and rolled down my face. Well fuck, this is the opposite of what should be happening. I should be losing, not gaining. I took a deep breath before gently picking up the scale and placing back where it was before, hiding it underneath a pile of clean towels so that if anyone was to look through my stuff they wouldn't get suspicious. I used to use the scales in my parents' bathroom, seeing as they were the only ones in the house and they were conveniently left out in the open for me to just step on as I pleased. The only problem was making sure I didn't get caught, which was hard considering my bedroom and my parents were on completely different sides of the house. That was when the voice came up with the brilliant idea to just invest in my own, and whilst I miss the adrenaline of running between bedrooms in fear of getting caught it's just so much easier to have my own.

When I stepped out of the bathroom Nick was awake, rubbing sleep away from his eye.

"Good morning," I said as quietly as I could.

"Hey." he said groggily. Fuck his morning voice, I could get used to that. He cracked his neck before flinging the covers off his body and stood up. He tugged off his shirt and went to get a new one. I'd be lying if I said I didn't immediately let my eyes fall down his body. I tried not to, I really did, but when he's shirtless I mean fuck. I was pulled out of my daze when he pulled on a random shirt he had in my drawer and just smirked at me knowingly. Thankfully though he didn't say anything, that would've made things very awkward, especially on my end. He suddenly went to open my door and that's when my mind finally started working normally again.

"Wait what are you doing," I rushed out in a panic. He furrowed his brows in confusion.

"To get breakfast?" He said questioningly. "I'm a growing boy Jules y'know." He continued. "It's 10 am and I'm hungry." Well fuck I didn't think this through. Would it still deem normal if I still 'didn't feel well'? I'm still freezing now that I think of it, finally taking notice of the goosebumps on my legs.

"I still don't feel well. Besides I lost my appetite." I lie to him easily, guilt settling within me.

"Did I ask for complaints?" He asked, turning around and putting his arms on his hips acting like a mum again. I pressed my lips into a thin line and shook my head