One more day

chapter 33

TW: Mentions of abuse and violence

Nicks POV

I was driving Julia home from her therapy session with Madison. She seemed a bit more relaxed now, and I'm glad she could talk about what happened. We drove into the Macca's drive-thru, I ordered her an iced coffee again and I got myself one as well and some chips. I had her connect her phone to my car's Bluetooth system so that she could play whatever she likes. We made a joint playlist on Spotify, she added some of her favourite artists like the Arctic Monkeys, Chase Atlantic, The Weeknd, and some more random songs she liked. Most of my songs consisted of Post Malone, Josh A, Jack Harlow and The Wombats. She had put that on and we were just vibing all the way to her house.

When we got home, I cut her up some carrots and celery, in the shape of a stick and handed her them with the tzatziki dip we bought. She was ever so slowly eating it. She had her phone out now, seeming nervous to show me what she had come up with Madison in her session. She slid her phone over to me, and the photo loaded up. My eyes flicked over the headings first, coping with flashbacks when she's awake, when she's asleep, managing anxiety, and her goals. I started reading on the strategies for coping with flashbacks when she's awake, making mental notes of my own so I can help her to implement them. I did the same thing with the notes under dealing with flashbacks, although these notes are interesting. I can see now why she was radiating anxious energy about showing me the photo. I thoroughly read through the notes, re-reading them to ensure I'm not reading them wrong. I can't say I expected anything like this. Re-exploring herself sexually, exploring herself with others sexually, reestablishing her connection with her body, and gaining that sense of control back over her body. I didn't even think about that as a solution. It caught me off guard, that's for sure. I look up to see her studying my face, her own face flustered, her eyes clouded with fear of being judged. I offer her a small smile, reassuring her that I'm not judging her. I continue going through the notes and strategies, continuously making mental notes.

Moving on to her goals, I hear the flicking of her hair tie on her wrist. She's anxious.

"Is there anything you don't want me to look at?" I ask her genuinely. Yes, I am curious, everyone is by nature, however, I would never continuously be curious at the expense of her comfort and security.

"No, I trust you." She replied. There wasn't a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes, so I nodded and continued. Her goals for this week were to report the guys, thank fuck, try to remind herself that she is safe when she is having flashbacks and to reexplore her body. They're good goals.
"I like your goals. I'm really proud of you Jules." I tell her. "How can I help you with these?" I ask her. I want to help her, I would take everything off her shoulders and put it onto mine for her if I could because she doesn't deserve any of the shit she's going through.

"I don't really know Nick." She replied shrugging her shoulders. The good thing about growing up with someone is you learn how to read them like a book, and Julia is very predictable. This means one of two things: One, she's scared to ask for help, or two, she doesn't how to ask for help. Knowing Julia it'd be the latter.

"That's ok. How about I suggest some ideas and you tell me what you think?" I ask. I want to support her. I want to help her. "I'm happy to drive you to the police station whenever you're ready to report those idiots," I start, "I can help prompt you to remind yourself of strategies that you want to implement, because obviously with so much in your head, it's gonna be difficult to change your thought pattern," I suggested. "We can create some sort of like pin board and pin strategies down on a board in your room, somewhere where you can see it so you can remind yourself. And you can ask for anything you need. If you want a distraction I can come over."

She nods and gives me a big hug.

"You have no idea how thankful I am for you, Nick." She says, her head buried in my neck. She likes to go there, it's like her safe space.