One more day

chapter 34

julia's pov

I'm lying down with Nick on the couch, we're watching some random shit that's on tv. I think we're both too in our heads to be paying any attention to it. Everything he told me makes sense, so much sense; I'm almost at the point of beating myself up over the fact I didn't put the pieces together when we were younger. The type of man his father is, the way his mother's beauty was always tainted with ugly bruises and scars all over her. I was young though, and gullible, and she always smiled so sweetly every time she gave an excuse. Her smile was beautiful enough to convince anyone to do anything, she could've told me to walk into a fire and that I would be okay, looking at me with that big beautiful smile and I would've believed her. She had one of those genuine smiles, one so beautiful it consumed you and made you feel safe. I will always admire the way she carried herself, a big floating ball of sunshine. She's everything I want to be like when I become a mother. I still can't believe his father is such an asshole, enough to stab his own child. He was supposed to protect both of them from harm, guide them through life and love them unconditionally. Things make sense now. And the whole plan he just relayed to me makes sense too. It's in Sophia's best interest to get away from that man, and I can see Nick as such an amazing parental figure in her life, he basically already is minus the legal terms. But the fact that he wants me to come, to support him and for him to support me? I wouldn't have expected that. I never really thought about the future, I mean yeah when we were kids we would always dream about moving away and sharing an apartment together until we found our own people. But I turn 17 in a week now, and Nick is 18 in 5 months. The future really isn't as far away as I had hoped it was back then.

Reality starts to creep in on me, I'm nearly 17, and what have I got to show? I'm starving myself, I have no sexual experience aside from a sexual assault, still haven't kissed a boy, failing school, no idea what I want to do with my life, and no idea on how to live.

Fuck I've got to study for my math exam.

"Nickkkkkkk," I whine. I'm annoyed now. "We have that math exam next Monday,"

"You're gonna go back next week?" He asks.
"I kind of have to yeah." I groan. I haven't told my mum I've been home the last couple of days, I'm not really sure how I'm meant to tell her everything that has been happening. Nick sighs in defeat, he doesn't think it's good for me to go right now.

"Alright. I assume you're bringing it up because you want to study for it?" He questions.

"No," I say with a smart-ass tone. "I don't want to but we need to." He rolls his eyes, not impressed with my comment quite clearly.

I eventually made him get up after he complained about leaving his comfort (I told him to bring the blanket with him for emotional support.) We sit down on my bed, and I get out my math textbook and my notebook, handing Nick one of my spare notebooks to take notes and revise. I tell him to get Alexa to play some music, and she puts on our joint playlist. 'Crying Lightning'' by the Arctic Monkeys starts flooding our eardrums and I hum along (even though I am no singer). Nick quietly sings along too, and I soon start to sing along under my breath as well, both of us knowing it well enough to sing mindlessly while studying. We're revising algebra at the moment, finding the value of the X and Y in equations and showing our working out, occasionally asking each other for help. We spent an hour like that, studying and singing every now and then in between.

Eventually when 'I wanna be yours' by Arctic Monkeys presented itself over the speakers of my Alexa (which are shit speakers but that's ok) we decided to take a dance break. Holding hands, slowly dancing around, screaming our hearts out. He pulled me into him, slowly dancing around my room together. My head on his chest, his resting on top of my head. We're whispering the lyrics now, just loud enough for us to hear one another.