One more day

chapter 31

Julia's POV

Nick had to go home and pick up Sophia from school. I've decided to take the week off school. It's not like I have enough energy to focus in there anyway, I've been failing my classes for months. The more I've thought about what I'm experiencing, the more it feels like the voice isn't me, and I don't actually have any control in this whatsoever. It's all just very confusing, but I'm on my laptop doing some research on low-calorie foods, and how I can increase what I eat without gaining weight. I've come across a couple of articles on something called reverse dieting, where you slowly increase your calories each week, and I think I'm going to try doing that. Looking at low-calorie food, they're mainly fruit and vegetables, which isn't news to me seeing as that's basically all I eat. Nick sent me the details of a doctor who can give me a referral to see someone, just saying it was something to think about. I wanna try this whole thing on my own first, without someone demanding how much I eat and taking that control away from me. I feel like that'll make it more complicated.

I pick up the phone and dial the number anyway because I would like a therapist to tell me what to do about my nightmares.
"Hello, Avondale Doctors Clinic, Monica speaking." The woman spoke on the other line,

"Hi, Monica! My name is Julia, I was wondering if I could make an appointment with Dr. Layla?"

"Of course Julia!" She replied. "Is this going to be a general consultation?"

"Yes please, I won't need very long" I replied, snapping my hair tie on my wrist again.

"Awesome! We've actually had a cancellation so there's a spot available at 5:15 this evening. Will that work for you?"

"Yes that would be great, thank you." I confirmed.

"Great! You should get a confirmation text for that one soon. We will see you at 5:15 Julia!"

"See you then." I said, ending the phone call. God making doctor's appointments is very scary.
It was 3 p.m. now, so I had about 2 hours to kill before I needed to leave. So that's the first step to solving my dilemma with my nightmares, and I have some idea of ways I can introduce some more calories into my food. I called Nick, wanting his help and ideas on this, but he didn't pick up. He must be driving. I replied to the confirmation text I received on my phone from the doctors, before opening up my laptop to research some stuff.

It's been an hour and I've come up with a list of foods that I am happy to eat, all consisting of fruits and vegetables. I've also negotiated with my voice to do half an hour walks, instead of an hour run every day. I always enjoyed walks more anyway. This is just, experimenting. And if I gain weight, then I'll reanalyse my plan. This is my first step to not feel like shit. I'm conflicted in my emotions, I'm confused, I'm scared, I'm excited, and I'm very nervous.

There's a knock at the door, and I go downstairs to open the door to see Nick.
"I would've called you back but I figured I'd just come here." He said. "Is everything all right?"

"Yeah everything is all good, I just wanted your opinion on something." I said, shutting the door behind him. He was taking his shoes off.

"Of course, what's up?" He asks. I don't reply, just grabbing his hand and dragging him to my room. I pull out my notebook, showing him and explaining all the research I've done, what I'm going to try, and what foods I'm going to be incorporating. He looks over it and listens to my explanations, nodding in understanding. He takes the notebook from my hand to look at my list of foods.

"Alright this is really good Jules, and I'm so proud of you for taking this first step." He said hesitating. There's a but, I can sense it.

"But?" I question.