One more day

chapter 22

"You wanna get high?" She asked and my eyes nearly popped out of their sockets in surprise.

"What?" I squeaked out.

"You wanna get high? She repeated. I've never gotten high before, hell I don't think I've even touched anything illegal besides alcohol. Yet for some reason I agree, what have I got to lose anyway.

"Okay, let's make weed brownies!" She cheered excitedly and I heard my heart rate increase in my ears.

"Don't we like, roll a blunt, like in the movies?" I rushed out. Why, why, why did food have to be involved?

"But brownies are so much more fun." She defended. I sighed in defeat, reluctantly agreeing. It's not like I'd be eating dinner anyway. She started rummaging through boxes, gathering ingredients. She also pulled out a mixing bowl along with measuring cups and spoons. I think she made these often, cause she seemed to have the recipe engraved in her brain, giving me instructions.

"¾ cup of flour." She said whilst cracking an egg and putting it in the bowl whilst I measured the flour. Soon enough they were in the oven and Mia was licking a spoon clean, offering a different one to me.

"No thank you." I politely declined. It was already bad enough that I was having some, I didn't need to eat the extra batter either.

"Oh well, more for me!" She cheered. 

We talked a bit about ourselves whilst we waited for the brownies to finish. I learnt she has an older sister and she really likes makeup. Once the brownies were ready she took them out of the oven and cut them into slices, handing one to me whilst picking another up for her in her other hand. I took it as she held hers up, clinking it with mine before saying 'cheers' as if it were a glass of wine and taking a bite. I replicated her actions, taking a bite of the thing I swore I wouldn't eat until I was skinny, immediately met with the rich flavour, with a hint of something different, obviously being the weed. 

I was halfway through with mine when Mia went to go get another. Holy fuck I really do eat slow. That's a good thing though, the voice told me it's always better to eat slower. Over time I guess it just became a thing, besides it made me feel powerful when I was halfway through a meal to see everyone else around me have completely cleaned their plates. 

I had now eaten two brownies, the fuzzy feeling in my head helping me to blur out the numbers in my head, all of theming blurring together as a big pile of mush, becoming all too much for me to keep track of, and just like that, I've lost count of how many calories I've had. In that moment though, it didn't matter. The calories were just numbers, and the brownies were simply just snacks that I would sneak into my mouth like a child when my mother walked out of the kitchen. 

The fuzzy feeling in my brain was stronger, and I felt better than I ever had before. Nothing mattered, not the fat on my body, not how bloated I was right now, not the number on the scale; nothing. I was at peace, finally. No voices bossing me around, just me and my conscience. I'm not sure how long I had been at Mia's house but we were now on her balcony, looking up at the stars that lit up the night sky.

"Hey look!" She suddenly said whilst flinging her arm up flimsily, her face lighting up like a kid's on Christmas. "That one looks like a dick!"

"Which one?" I questioned with a pout, turning to the sky to try and find the constellation she was talking about but failing.

"That one!" She aggressively shoved her hand in the same direction, and I focused extra hard trying to find the one that looked like a penis.

"Oh, I see it!" I shouted back to her, looking at the constellation that would look more like a demented triangle to anyone in their right mind. We both started giggling like a bunch of little kids, struggling to breathe as laughs interrupted our attempts at getting oxygen. Suddenly I take note of my phone vibrating in the back pocket of my jeans. I pull it out to be met with Nick's name and contemplate whether or not I should pick it up. I'm reminded of what I said earlier today, and the way he's sabotaging my plans. My finger hovers over the red 'decline' button when Mia interrupts my thoughts.