suck my dick (jihan smvt)

35.

it was a lazy day, they were both off work and were just minding their own business, chilling in jisoo's bed when the younger cleared his throat "hey han, i've been meaning to ask you something" he said

jeonghan raised his eyebrows "yes?" he asked and turned to see him

the other continued "it's just a question because- i mean, i know we've gone through some messed up shit so i was like- curious, and i totally understand if you don't really want to answer because you said we didn't have to talk about it-"

"oh my fucking god, just ask the question you twat" jeonghan said playfully and then chuckled

jisoo rolled his eyes slightly before pressing his lips together and looking away avoiding eye contact "do you- were you-" he took a deep nervous breath "i'm sorry if it's an insensitive question and i know you already told me some stuff about it that time we were high but- how have you been- abused? like- sexually" he nearly whispered the last part

the older chuckled "that's what you were so nervous to ask?" he asked and clicked his tongue thinking "well, different ways really" he said

jisoo didn't say anything so he continued "my first time for example, i've mentioned it before actually, the one i told you was with a girl, turns out i had sex with a guy i met at school who was closeted and had a really homophobic brother, he was so afraid his brother would find out that he told him i had made a move on him, so his brother and some of his homophobic friends with his girlfriend drugged me and well, did it to me so i could 'become straight' by the time they did it i was awake but still not conscious enough to defend myself, conscious enough to remember though, the rest of the times were all for different reasons and situations" jeonghan said trying not to seem affected, although ever since the other had told him he was there for him, something felt different every time he talked about it "why do you ask?"

jisoo felt his stomach drop still avoiding eye contact "how can you say it so normally? isn't it triggering? i already told you you don't need to undermine the situation with me, the things that have happened to you are messed up and you don't deserve it" he said

the other shrugged "i guess not, but it's always been quite normal to me, i always have vivid memories of those times, they're so normal to me it doesn't affect me, it never has really, i guess i just don't feel much" he said

jisoo hummed not knowing what to say "so, why do you ask?" jeonghan asked again

the younger clicked his tongue still bummed out at the heavy story the other had just told him "i don't know, i guess i was just curious" he said

"well, if you wanted to know if i've ever been raped then yes, a couple of times, if you mean like any type of sexual abuse, then i can't really count them" jeonghan said

jisoo furrowed his eyebrows "what do you mean any type of sexual abuse?" he asked confusedly

the older furrowed his eyebrows "i mean any other type of sexual abuse, you know, not just rape" he said obviously and turning to look at him

the younger was still confused "but- there's no other type" he said

jeonghan sat up to look at him better "jisoo, do you really think rape is the only type of sexual abuse?" he asked

the other's expression changed to a thinking one and then shrugged "is this a prank? are you fucking with me?" he asked with a confused expression again

the older stared at him incredously "jisoo, any type of sexual activity that was done without you consenting is sexual abuse, that thing you told me about what they did to you in conversion therapy, did you not know that's abuse?" he asked