Something About Her (completed)

Chapter 57 - Zoe's, Sophie's and Joe's Pov

"Here you go boys" I said happily as I placed the glasses on the table beside the bed, causing them to look up from the laptop and grin at me, "thanks" Phil said before looking back at the laptop, his face a mixture of happinesss and confusion, I guessed he and Dan where editing. "Im gonna go read for a litttle while if anyone wants me" I announced to the room only for Dan to grin and say "okay, i'll miss you" in a childish voice, causing me to giggle.

"I'll miss you too, see you in a couple of hours" I shouted back as I walked through the door into the cool hallway, my smile disappearing as I slumped to my room, hoping not to see Joe. Not because I didn't want to see him, because trust me my heart was begging me to, but because I couldn't handle another outburst. I reached the door and put on a brave face, if he was there I would show him I was strong not some winny girl who couldn't handle a break up. I knocked gently waiting for answer, when none came I softly pushed the door open and breathed a sigh of relief when I was faced with a dark empty room. I walked in and stripped into my PJ's, I wanted comfort plus I physically felt worn out, if anything I needed another sleep and a good cry.

I grabbed my phone off the side and plugged in my headphones, I switched on my playlist called 'feelings' and clambered onto mine and Joes soft double bed. I wrapped the Blanket around me and listened to the music that played through the tiny speakers. The first song that came up was one called Drown by Bring me the Horizion, it was a song that made so much sense to me years ago and still did from time to time. You see for years now I've been living with depression in secret, Zoe is the only one who knows about it. It was a struggle even telling her let alone trying to tell my parents or my friends, so I decided to keep it a secret from everyone but her. Its gotten better but Its still there and it still hurts from time to time, i'm just amazed no one else has found out.

I let the lyrics flow into me and welled up from the words, never had I felt this alone even when it was bad, I guess it was because I was turly alone this time, no one knew what I was going through or what I was thinking. I threw off my blanket and shuffled to the bathroom. I grabbed some tissue and started to dry my eyes, I would not cry, I would be strong. I glanced up at the mirror, my face was puffy, red and soaked in tears that poured from my dull green eyes, I sighed this was not how I imagined LA to be.

I grabbled the wash cloth and doused it in cool water before wipping my face with it. My cheeks stung but the water felt good as it cooled me down and silenced my tears. I removed the fannel from my face and sighed again "your beautiful and worth it " I told myself quietly, a tear running down my face before turning away and plodding back to the bed.

Zoe's pov

"What do you mean shes not here?" I shouted causing Dan and Phil to flinch, "look she went to read a book" Dan said calming staring at the laptop in front of him not taking any notice of me, I sighed, placing my hands on my hips "do you know where she is then?" I asked my pacience slowly wearing thin. Phil looked at me and sighed, his eyes unsually dark "I think shes in her room" he said quietly. I nodded " thankyou, see you later and Dan next time you try to comfort someone make sure they haven't just got out of a relationship" I said harshly as I left the room.

I breathed deeply and lent against the cool wall, the cold penetrating my cool skin, calming me slightly, why was I so angry, he was only comforting her in her time of need right? I pushed myself off the wall and sighed, i know had to keep my cool whilst talking to Sophie. I walked along the hall and reached the door, I could hear soft sobs coming from the otherwise quiet room and bit my lip, rememebering Sophie condition.

God I was so stupid, I just hoped she was okay. I knocked on the door quietly and waited, the sobs stopped and then a rushed rumbled was all i heard before the rushing of a tap and Sophie saying she would be right there. I waited, desperate to get inside, I knew what she was doing and wanted to stop it and yet I understood why she did it and let it continue for her. The tap stopped and then footsteps echoed across the floor before the door creaked open and a tearful Sophie greeted me.

I sighed deeply and opened my arms wide, as she rans into them, crying, he head upon mine as a snuggled into her neck. When the tears stopped she pulled away and dried her eyes with the back of her hand showing me the newly formed scars. I looked deep into her eyes and smiled softly, "does it hurt ?" I said motioning to her arm, "wh-wha-what-t-t Hurt-tt-s?" she stuttered, grabbed her wrist gently with the other hand trying to cover the wounds. I looked at her and sighed "the cuts you made" i said taking the hand off the wound "these, do they hurt?".

She looked at me then down at the floor, "I just wanted relief, I wanted to take the pain away but I can't they hurt less than my heart" she said quietly, a tear falling from her closed eyes, only to dribble down her cheek. I nodded, no I didnt know what it was like to be her and feel so much sadness that you just want to get rid of it by cutting but atleast I tried to understand her pain and why she did it, sighing deeply I wrapped my arm around her shoulders " come on sweety lets get these wrapped up and cleaned properly".

She nodded and walked into her room with me.

Joe's Pov

I couldn't believe what I was seeing, there was my sister with Sophie acting completely calm as blood covered wounds linned her arms. Was this my fault? had I made her this unhaappy and why did I suddenly feel very sick to my stomach? I listened, hiding on the stairs as the stood only centimeters away from me. " These" Zoe said pulling Sophies arm away to reveal the scars once again "do they hurt?" she asked tears pooling in her eyes, causing my mind to race. She was taking this far too well for it to be the first time, had this happened before and if so why had I never been told or seen?

I sucked in a deep breath, tears threatning to spill as Sophie decribed why she did it, "I just wanted relief, i wanted to take the pain away but I can't they hurt less than my heart" my heart broke for her, what had I done, i had caused the thing I cared about the be destroyed not only mentally but physically. "Come on sweety lets get these wrapped up and cleaned properly " I heard Zoe say as I pulled my phone from my pocket, the tears in my eyes making it hard to see anything. I unlocked it and clicked on Sophies name, I typed away, tears flowing from my eyes as I poured my heart out to her, she would know how I felt and hopefully make her feel better.

I glanded over the tear stained screen of my phone and began to read what I had put, when I was happy I saved it ready to send it when I needed to. I slowly got up my feet shakey and plodded down the stairs, past the guys who looked at me in concern and out the door. Thie was it, I had nothing left, everything just meant so little to me now that Sophie was gone, now that she hated me. I shallowed hard and walked along the street debating wether this was a good idea.

It had to be, it just felt right.