⚠︎︎TRIGGER WARNING⚠︎︎ ⚠︎Mention of domestic violence, and angst⚠︎︎ ☁︎︎
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☁︎︎ October 2009
Being completely unsure of yourself sucks than knowing you're in a completely shit place. It's like you're at a constant battle with yourself, wondering if you're ready for what's coming your way or not.
"This unsub seems to dump his victims randomly" Spencer mused staring at the map in front of him. "There doesn't seem to be a visible route."
"Did I look like these women?" You questioned completely ignoring Spencer as you gazed at the victim's photos.
Hotch had asked you two to start the geographical profile while the rest of the team branched off to speak to the victims' families, check out the dumpsites, etc...
"What?" Spencer frowned.
"When Taylor-- Did I look like these women... I mean, I know there's a file with pictures of me right after it happened somewhere... I remember this agent taking my photo for the file... I never the photo." You mumbled numbly.
"Y/n don't think about that" Spencer whispered softly.
"I just... You have the pictures right? On your phone." You questioned finally turning to him.
"Y/n I-"
"Can I see them?" You cut in.
"No, I don't think you should... You're meant to be healing, I don't want to re-open a wound" Spencer opposed.
"But-" you tried to argue but Spencer cut across, grabbing your hand and walking you to a seat.
"Y/n, I'm not going to show you the photos, or not now at least... Why are you even asking to see them?" He asked sitting you down on a seat.
"It's just... I could've ended up like those women... But I'm here, how did I survive?" You murmured staring directly into his eyes as if you were trying to use superpowers to get him to give you all the answers you needed.
"There's no proper answer to that... There are factors to why you survived but uh... I don't have a complete 1 reason answer for you" Spencer sighed crouching down to your level. "But I'm happy you are here."
"Sorry, it's just... Every time I look at those women I think about myself... And I know that sounds selfish, but it's like I was them and they were me." You explained bouncing your knee up and down anxiously as you gazed at Spencer.
"It's not selfish, and it makes sense. I get it, I felt the same after I got kidnapped, it was like suddenly I could relate to our victims... It takes time to come to terms with it, but you'll manage it." Spencer whispered gently. "Do you want to take a timeout?"
