⚠︎︎TRIGGER WARNING⚠︎︎ ⚠︎︎Extensive conversations about self-harm (questionable behavior from Spencer), mention of sexual abuse (both adult and child), mention of past domestic abuse, and angst.⚠︎︎ ☁︎︎
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☁︎︎ May 2010
Coping with tragedy is often the hardest part of healing, unfortunately, it's also the most important part of healing.
If you don't cope, you won't heal.
Unfortunately, there are healthy ways to cope and unhealthy ways to cope, and for you, you had picked up all the unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Although it's not completely unsurprising, that you a woman who grew up with little to no support fell down such dark rabbit holes.
The only coping mechanism you learned when you felt you needed to hurt yourself, was to talk to Olivia, however now you didn't have Olivia to distract you, now you felt more alone than ever.
"I'm home" Spencer called out walking through the front door.
"Hey" You called back shoving your dirty washing into the washing machine and quickly kicking the door shut before Spencer came into the room.
"How are you feeling?" Spencer asked walking over to the counter and turning the coffee machine on.
"Yeah... Uh... G-Good" you murmured quickly shuffling past him.
"Oh uh- Penelope and Derek should be round in a minute" Spencer mentioned, frowning internally at your sketchy behavior.
"C-Cool" you mumbled giving him an unconvincing smile, Spencer smiled back as you walked through the kitchen door, his eyes dropping down and catching a glimpse of your sleeve.
You were wearing a knitted cream sweater, Spencer always told you to be careful when wearing light colors like cream because it's so easy to stain them.
The cream color wasn't the best for hiding the red blotches on your sleeves.
Over the past few weeks, you and Spencer had been looking for alternative coping mechanisms for self-harm.
You had tried drawing on yourself, using tape, sitting in a cold shower, and using fake blood to create the illusion that you had hurt yourself without actually making a mark on your skin.
The fake blood was the first thing you tried, and it didn't work for you, so you tried cold showers but you always stayed under for too long creating a whole other way to harm yourself.
Placing tape over the places you wanted to hurt helped a little bit, but drawing on yourself seemed the most effective, or that's what you told Spencer.
