⚠︎︎TRIGGER WARNING⚠︎︎ ⚠︎︎Mention of mental health struggles, and angst.⚠︎︎ ☁︎︎☀︎︎☁︎︎
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"Y'know, it's ok to freak out, right?" Dr. Clark asked folding her arms.
"Yeah, but it was over something so stupid, and I ruined the night, I went home and barely talked for like 7 hours." You pointed out grumpily.
"Were your friends upset with you?"
"No, they were fine about it. In fact, they came round and turned the night out into a night in" You explained quietly.
"Then what are you upset about?"
"I freaked out... I freaked out and ruined a fun night out, just because my friends were ok with it, and managed to save the evening doesn't make it ok" you sighed angrily, feeling the frustration bubble inside you like a ticking time bomb.
"Y/n, your healing... That's what happens. Think of it, like a broken ankle, which I'm sure you can relate to. When you first break it, without some kind of heavy, medical-grade cast and crutches, you can't walk, the pain is too much..."
"And for weeks, you have to keep your food in that cast, until the doctors are ready to remove it, but even then, you won't be able to use that ankle like normal, until you've practiced walking properly again... So, what do you do?" Dr. Clark questioned.
"You... Ease into it?" You frowned.
"Exactly, you go it slowly, you don't get the cast-off and run a marathon... You learn the distances you can walk before you get tired or it starts to heal, you take time letting it heal fully, you go to physiotherapy etcetera... Are you getting my point here?..."
"Recovery isn't a sprint... It's not something that happens overnight... You tried going out, being brave, having your scars on show, and realized you weren't ready for that... And that's ok, it takes time... It doesn't mean you'll never be able to be comfortable with yourself..."
"It just means, you're not comfortable with yourself right now... Recovery isn't a straight line, it's all over the place, there will be good days, bad days, days that aren't really anything, and it's maddening, but if you truly want to get better then you'll be able to do it." Dr. Clark assured you.
"I think I'm going to try something else today," you mentioned.
"Oh yeah, what's that?"
"I want a tattoo... I've kinda always wanted one, but I either never had enough time to get one or enough money to spend on such a luxury... But I'm ready for one now" you explained.
"Sounds exciting, what're you gonna get?"
"Well, that's the thing, I can't get something too big, because of work, which is kind of annoying, because I wanted to get something that covered up my scars. But, I'm still gonna get something, like these butterflies up the arm, Hotch said no sleeves, but he never said I couldn't get this." you pointed out mischievously.
