phosphenes (n.) zoro x sanji [roommates au]

chapter 30 - visus

s/n: cry - cigarettes after sex (slowed)

" maybe I'll change for you someday

...but I can't help the way I feel. "

[ zoro ]

He awoke back in his room, his dorm room, the room next to Sanji, with the air smelling mustier than he remembered.

The sheets beneath him rustled as he tried to sit up and a wet towel fell on his lap. He grabbed it and frowned, trying to remember how he ended up in his own bed and what day it was.

Goddamn, the sunlight was so fucking bright—especially when it refracted off the sleeping blond's hair in stray streaks. The blond slowly opened his eyes blearily and slowly focused on Zoro.

"Morning." He greeted softly as the blond walked over to inspect his head.

"If you didn't wake up today, I would've called the ambulance." Sanji frowned as he brushed Zoro's hair to see the skin underneath. "Yea, no concussions. Not like you can get any dumber."

He couldn't pry his eyes away from Sanji and his fingers felt so cold yet burning hot as they touched his skin. Everywhere was a plot of lava.

"Shut up, ero-cook." He grumbled under his breath which quickly morphed to a 'ow' when Sanji flicked his forehead.

"Marimo..." The blond said hesitantly, his eyes looking away. "I'm sorry for yesterday...I didn't mean the things I said."

"I was crazy drunk after Robin's party," His pale and long fingers swept the few strand of gold from the graceful arch of his neck. The action hypnotised Zoro. "-Anyways, I'll finish clearing out my things today so, uh..."

"What do you mean?" Zoro frowned harshly.

Sanji tilted his head. "I'm getting my own dorm...didn't you know our dorm-sharing was temporal?"

"Plus..." The blond sighed and took out his cigarette and let it hang between his lips without lighting it. "I don't think being this close to each other is healthy. We trigger each other."

His fingers found their way around Sanji's wrist before he realised it himself.

"Tell me how to change. I'll do it." Zoro finally met the blond's light blue eyes. "Just don't leave."

The blond's eyes turned fluid with pity as he laughed, biting on his cigarette. "I know how it feels to not get the person you love, silly Marimo. You're treating it like a break-up. Anyway, it's not as if we'll not see each other."

But deep inside Zoro knows that Sanji would avoid him if there wasn't an excuse keeping them together. And he knows himself all too well—that he doesn't have the courage to approach the beautiful boy without an excuse.

"...What did you mean yesterday when you said you feel weak when I told you my feelings? What do you mean by you'll be hurt?" Zoro said lowly, his eyes never leaving the blond's.

"I told you...I didn't mean the things I said—"

"What do you mean by I was manipulating you? Why were you acting so damn weak yesterday?"

Sanji's blue eyes flared and they sparkled angrily in the sun. He aimed a punch which was caught by Zoro.

"I'm," His eyes flickered like a deer caught in the headlights. "-you're the one who told me all sorts of shit and you made me depend on you and you fucking...hah..."

"-You fucking disappear for months."

"I'm weak, you're right." He chuckled coldly, glaring at Zoro, his eyes turning into shards of ice. "Happy now? Wanna let go of my hand?"

"Hey, hey." Zoro whispered gently, softening his grip on Sanji's hand.

"Look into my eyes." The tanned boy insisted firmly. "If you can do it for a minute without looking away, I'll let go...and I'll let you leave. I won't talk to you anymore."

Sanji held his gaze, his burning gaze, with the space of two fingers between them—Zoro thought he could see a glittering expanse of the sea in his eyes, and with his heart thumping hard in his ears, he wonder if he himself would lose in this game instead—and he quickly broke away, with a reddish tinge in his ears and his cigarette torn, falling to the floor.

"You failed." Zoro said with a relieved smirk in his voice.

"Shut the fuck up. I didn't even agree in the first place."

"Your ears are red, you dumb ero-cook."

"It's the fucking sun. Shut up." He snarled without venom, refusing to look into the tanned boy's eyes as he picked up his half cigarette and spat the other half out.

As he turned to leave, Zoro quickly grabbed his hand again. This time, fully conscious of his actions.

"Hey...don't go alright?" He looked down on the floor. "I can make it not obvious. I'll get over it and—"

Sanji pressed his hand over the tanned boy's mouth. It smelled like tobacco.

"You don't have to do anything."

My national exams are killing me and I might be homeless by the time I'm 19 aahhahah for failing this shit 💆‍♂️ hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and as always, tell me what you think. that's what motivates me to keep writing :)