phosphenes (n.) zoro x sanji [roommates au]

chapter 28 - nō

s/n : i wanted to dance to your pulse, cover. dongdang

PYLADES : I'll take care of you.

ORESTES : It's rotten work.

PYLADES : Not to me. Not if it's you.

- Euripides

☞ ☞☞

[ zoro ]

The pretty neighbourhood park reminded him nothing of Sanji. Yet all his mind did was arrive at the thought of the beautiful blond boy beneath the shedding cherry blossoms-smiling like sunlight, looking like sunlight.

He missed the perpetual clanking and the constant aroma wafting from the kitchen, with the blue-eyed boy looking so lost in his heaven.

There was this secret smile he only showed when he's cooking, when a proud smirk would grow on his lips and a star-like glint would shoot across his baby-blue eyes.

When the blond asked him what made him fall, Zoro really didn't how to explain it. What makes a flower so beautiful? It is simply a product of everything-of how soft its petals are, of how the stamens drape over its centre gracefully, of how well everything about it makes it what it is.

But none of that could translate out of this mouth of his when the blond boy called him drunk and crying.

"Leave me, hang up quickly," The blond boy's voice tight with pain and Zoro could feel his own ribs clench. "Or I will end up relying on you,"

"-and I will dirty you."

"You won't."

"Don't be so fucking lovesick, Marimo...you'll leave me, just like everybody else."

"I won't."

"How can you be so sure?"

"..."

"I don't mind being dirty. As long as it's you."

"...What's so fucking good about me?" The blond was shouting and sobbing and Zoro wished he could be there to wrap his arms around him. "Why are you so...good to me?"

The words were like a plug up his throat. He didn't like thinking so deeply. He loves him. Isn't that enough? Must there be a reason?

The tanned boy scratched his head and stared up at the stars, wishing there was an answer written on the indigo sky.

"I...like it when you smile. And all I want to do is to make you smile and laugh more."

"When you cry, I just want to hold you in my arms and wipe away your tears."

"When you are in pain...this here, my heart hurts too."

"The only answer I know to your question is because you are simply Sanji. Because you are Sanji, with your imperfections and perfections, that I love you."

"..."

"You know I-

-I can't reciprocate it. I will only take advantage of your love. I'm broken, you fucking, fucking dumb Marimo! Why don't you understand?

...why don't you understand that I can't bear to hurt another person? You think I feel fucking good when I see people in tears?" The blond was crying as he shouted through the phone, with drunken slurs injecting between his pauses.

Zoro stayed silent and let him air his troubles aloud.

"...I don't want to hurt anyone anymore." Sanji suddenly whispered softly through the phone, his voice trembling. "So please, leave me alone. Even if I call you, even if I text you, just leave me. Even if you love me."

"Especially if you love me."

"I can't." Zoro murmured, and it was the truth. "I just told you, didn't I? When you're hurting, I'm hurting too. I'll help you become happy because when you're happy, I am too.

That's why it's alright if you hurt me. I can't hold a rose without getting pricked by its thorns, can I, baka ero-cook?"

He could only hear sniffling, and a long line of silence from the other end of the phone, before the blond muttered, "You're absolutely hopeless." and hung up.

The tanned boy frowned in worry at his phone, at the abrupt end to their conversation. The depth of his words suddenly struck him and prickly heat appeared at his ears and neck, as his heart raced in embarrassment.

He placed his head in his hands, peeking at the call history his phone, hearing his words rewinding in his head. God, what the hell was he saying? Those sappy words...

...love?

When he spoke, he didn't even realised he told the blond boy he loved him.
He's at the bottom of the ocean of his feelings and he has resigned to the drowning-the collapsing of his lungs, the breathlessness, the sparkle and the glitter of the sea that is Sanji.

He really was as Sanji said.

Hopeless,

Hopelessly in love.

^ i drew some sketches of sanji to make up for my absence...might make a twitter account with zosan art : ))

sanji reminds me a lot of myself, so this chapter has a bit of personal colour to it. hope you enjoyed it, and as always tell me your thoughts! : )) i have started uploading some chapters on ao3, but it will definitely update way slower than this wattpad version becuz im lazy and I prefer writing on wattpad more, with the music and all XD

thanks for reading! <3