You Always Remember Vegas

Chapter 6

"So after we take the mug shots, we bring them down here where they wait to be interviewed by the arresting officers," A deputy tells a group of children as they pass us. "Trust me, kids, you do not wanna be sitting on these benches. We call this place Loserville."

The kids laugh, walking away. One kid stops in front of Alan, taking his picture. Alan kicks up, knocking the kid's phone out of his hand. 

"Hey, Tracy. It's Phil," I look up at the light-haired brunette, being connected to him through handcuffs. "We are at the spa at the hotel," He lies smoothly. "You are not gonna believe this. We got comped an extra night at the hotel. The suite is ridiculous. We're thinking of spending the night here and we're just gonna come back totally relaxed in the morning."

He says a few more things to Doug's fiancee before a police officer calls us into Room 3. We stand up, entangled together. I decide to step over, realizing I just put my ass in Phil's face. 

"You've got a nice ass," Phil tells me. 

"I know," I lead the way to the room, hearing the little smack Stu gives his friend on the back of his head. 

The four of us sit in the interrogation room, finally being free of the handcuffs. The police officers enter, sitting in front of us. 

"Gentlemen and lady," The male officer begins. "We've got some good news, and we've got some bad news. The good news is we found your Mercedes,"  We smile happily. "Yeah, it's over at impound right now. We picked it up at 5 a.m. this morning parked in the middle of Las Vegas Boulevard. There was also a note. It says, "Couldn't find a meter, but here are four bucks. The bad news is we can't get you in front of a judge until Monday morning." 

"Oh, no, officer, that's just impossible," Phil tells him. "We need to be in L.A. tomorrow for a wedding." 

"You stole a police car," The woman reminds us. 

"We didn't steal anything," Stu refuses. "Um, we found it." 

"If anything we deserve an award," Alan dumbly says. "A trophy."

"Stop talking," I whisper to him. 

"I see assholes like you every day," The male officer says. 

"Every fucking day," The woman emphasizes. 

"Let's go to Vegas, we'll all get drunk and laid!" They begin to mock the tourists. I mean, I would too but this is a little much. "Let's steal a cop car because it'd be really fucking funny."

"Think you gonna get away with it?" She yells. "Not up in here."

"Not up in here!" He yells even louder. 

"Um, sir," I rest my elbows on the table. "That squad car belongs to you, am I right?" He nods. "I'm a reasonable woman. I deal with obnoxious people every day. Hell, these are my brother's friends, and see what they drag me into? I think we can work out a deal. Discreetly, of course."

The woman shows the male officer something on the paper. He laughs and asks if any of us have a heart condition. The next thing I know, we end up in a room full of those children from earlier. 

"Okay, kids, you're in for a real treat today," The male officer announces to them. "These gentlemen and lady have kindly volunteered to demonstrate how a stun gun is used to subdue a suspect."

Wait, what?

"Now, there are two ways to use a stun gun," The officer continues. "Up close and personal," I cover my mouth as Stu lets out a screeching scream, falling to the ground after the stun gun shocks him. "Or you can shoot it from a distance. Do I have any volunteers?" Phil steps in front of me as if the guy is about to stun me. He picks a girl and then signals for Phil to step forward. "Come on, handsome," Alan steps forward. "Not you, fat Jesus, slide it on back," He points at Phil. "You, pretty boy."