You Always Remember Vegas

Chapter 11

The Hangover Part II

*Phil*

"You really need to floss more," Stu tells me as he examines my teeth. 

"Fuck that," I curse. "That's why I come here."

"Well, then you should come more than once every two years," He advises, beginning to write a prescription. 

"Why?" I ask. "So you could bleed me of all my money?"

"I never charge you a dime, Phil," He points out. 

I spot the Nitrous, grabbing it. "Hey, how do I work the nitrous?"

"Uh, you don't actually," He says. 

I put it over my mouth. "Come on! Just one hit."

"Fillings look pretty good," He says, facing me  "Any other problems?"

"Yeah, actually," I nod. "You're getting married in Thailand," And I'm going to see you're fucking sister after two years and I haven't gotten her out of my fucking head. "For starters, that's one grand for me right there. Even though she hates me, my mother-in-law's watching the kids with Steph. So now she's got this whole new thing to hold over my head," Including the part where I divorced her daughter last month even though you or none of our friends know that. 

"At least you don't have to pay for Steph since she's sick," Stu points out. 

Right, because she's sick.

"Plus, it takes five days to get there," I point out. 

"It's a 16-hour flight," Stu says. "And it's beautiful when you get there."

"Whatever, it's a hassle," I scoff. 

"It is kinda far," He agrees. "Lauren's been there a week and she's still jet-lagged. But it's where her parents are from and it means a lot to them."

"Who gives a shit about her parents?" I sit and stand up. "Her dad hates you."

"He doesn't hate me," He says. "He's just never spoken to me. I think it's a cultural thing."

I look out the window of the dentist's room. "Why can't you just get married in Vegas like you did last time? So much easier."

"Why can't you just be excited for me?" Stu asks. I sigh, leaning back against the wall. "This is my wedding." 

"You're really happy, huh?" 

"I really am." 

"All right," I shrug, beginning to walk out. "I'm happy too." 

"Thank you," He says as I pat his shoulder, stealthily taking the prescription pad. 

"It's gonna be fun," I smile before walking out of the room. 

"Phil?" I halt. "Put the prescription pad back." 

I walk back into the room, looking at Stu. I open my pants and dig my right hand inside until I touch the pad, taking it out and placing it on the table. 

"Thank you," He says. "You know that's a felony, right?" 

"Fuck you, man," I say before walking out once more. 

"Was this right up against your scrotum?" I hear him ask as I walk away. 

"Yep."

~~~~~

I sit at the IHOP next to my baby daughter and in front of Doug and Stu. Doug is trying to convince Stu to invite Alan to the wedding. I'm sure Tracy pressured Doug in doing so since Alan's her brother.