Snk Various x Reader | Lemon

Chapter 20: The Imperishable Stomach Knot

For the rest of the day, I felt like I had gone back in time by a month. I felt completely alone and sad, just as I did when I'd first arrived. Although I wasn't actually alone because I was with Armin, I had begun to shut him out. I didn't really listen to his usual rants and constant babbling. I would just answer with a simple, "Yeah", "Great", or "Wow". From what I could tell, he didn't really notice that anything was different.

It was as if he and I had switched personalities. He was full of joy and I was miserable. He was even eating more during meals. I was happy to see that he was feeling better, even if it meant that his sadness had been passed onto me. I figured that he would be better off without me. I didn't want to send him into another depression again, so I decided that I would leave soon. I had already stayed in the year 850 way longer than I should have. I really did want to stay just for Armin but his sudden up made me feel ever so sad. Nothing was truly motivating me to stay. There was nothing holding me there anymore.

Armin nudged me with his elbow and I looked over at him. He smiled at me and put his hand up as if he was going to wave, but he didn't. I smiled back at him wearily, then looked back over to the front of the classroom. He had allowed me to sit with him and his friends again. It was almost lunch but that wasn't what I was thinking about. I was thinking about how I would break the news to Armin. He was my friend so I would have to tell him about my upcoming departure. I was planning on leaving at the end of the week. I wanted to start packing that night so that I wouldn't have anything holding me back from leaving right away. I had already begun thinking about what the cabin would look like after I moved out of it. All bare and dusty, no trace of my existence.

Finally, the bell rang. Everyone stood up and pushed their benches in, underneath the work tables. I stood up and walked quickly towards the exit. Armin ran up behind me and grabbed my shoulders, startling me. Once we left the building, he came up beside me and grabbed my left arm. "I don't know about you but I'm starving. I didn't eat enough this morning," he said excitedly with a smile plastered on his beautiful face. I looked over at the trees and did not answer him. When we got closer to the mess hall, Armin asked me, "Y/N, you've seemed upset ever since breakfast. What's going on?" Sadly for me, he had noticed my gloomy mood and pointed it out. "I'm okay. I think that something just didn't go down quite right," I replied quietly. Armin patted me on the back. "It's okay, we all have those days. Sometimes I think that the cooks are trying to kill us off," he chuckled as we walked up the stairs and onto the porch, in front of the mess-hall. Armin sat with his other friends for lunch. To put things simply, I was not having a good day.

***

It was free-period. Armin and I were walking back to my cabin. He was talking about something we learned in class but I wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying. I wished I was as intelligent as him. Every second I was with him my feelings for him grew stronger. It hurt so bad. I knew that it was going to be really hard to leave. I debated on just leaving that night but I wasn't sure if I wanted to leave so soon. I walked slowly, crunching the unbearable sounding leaves below my feet. They reminded me of how I felt, breaking into millions of pieces. I had really packed a hard punch. I shouldn't have urged him to tell me who he liked. If I hadn't, I would not have felt as I did.

"Y/N, are you listening?" he asked me in an annoying tone. "O-Oh, no, I'm sorry," I apologized.

"It's fine."

Both of us walked up the creaking stairs and then through the cabin door. He closed the door, which he chivalrously held open for me before. "Y/N, I didn't want to ask this in front of everybody but are you feeling okay? You've been upset with me. I know I've done something wrong and I just want to know what it is," he asked sternly in a serious tone. I lay down on my bed and I closed my eyes, letting out an exaggerated sigh. "It's not you, Armin. I just don't feel good," I reassured him.

"I don't believe you. Come on, just tell me. I hate seeing you upset. It makes me sad."

I opened my eyes and tilted my head ever so slightly to make eye contact with Armin, the angel. I knew that I was really going to miss him, like a lot. I closed my eyes and croaked, "don't be sad, I'll be fine. It's probably just a mood swing." "A-Are you sure? I really care about you and I don't want to hurt your feelings. If I am really the cause of this then please tell me," he verbalized. I was so stressed out because he made me feel so conflicted about leaving. He kept dragging out my feelings as if he knew I had them. I felt like I was going to cry. I turned over onto my side, facing the cabin wall, and I closed my eyes.

"Y/N," he called out. I ignored him. I felt like if I answered I would begin to cry. I wasn't quite sure why I was so emotional. Armin froze where he stood, stunned, hoping I was just going through a brief mood swing. He went and grabbed my blanket off of the couch and gracefully placed it over my body. He walked back over to the couch and lay down with his hands folded on his stomach. A pebble-like tear trickled down my cheek, allowing many more to follow. I seriously could not bear to stay any longer. I was so heartbroken that I decided I'd leave that night.