Snk Various x Reader | Lemon

Chapter 69: Back to Old Problems

Once breakfast was over, Armin, stuffed, was eager to go out for a walk. I decided that I'd take him to the mall. I never got the chance to buy him anything for his birthday so I figured that if he saw something at the mall that he liked, we could get it. Buying presents for boys is impossible. What in the world do you even get them? And, let me just tell you, it's even harder to shop for a boy from another time period. It wasn't like I could just buy him something modern. It was difficult. 

We walked around the mall and Armin pressed himself up against the shop windows, looking inside. "Wow Y/N, I forgot about all the cool stuff here, in your world," he said in awe. I told him that if he wanted something he should tell me because I could get it for him. "Really?" he said turning around. "Yep." Armin ran to my side and smiled. "Thanks," he purred. 

As we began walking, he held onto my hand. I looked at him and watched as his curious expression wandered, exploring the space we were in. "We should get something matching like we did last year," he suggested, "something like the bracelets." I looked down at the hand of mine that he was holding. Both Armin and I still wore the bracelets. Never leaving each other, right? Well, I, unfortunately, couldn't keep that promise. I could already feel tears welling up in the corners of my eyes. I prayed he wouldn't notice. 

"Oh!"

Armin let go of my hand and ran into a jewelry store. I went inside and stood beside him, before a glass case filled with all sorts of jewelry. I loved sparkly things and I still do! There were stunning necklaces, bracelets, watches, earrings, and rings. I admired them, disregarding their pricetags. "See something you want?" I asked. "This is what I want to get you when we get married, one day," he said quietly, pointing at a huge, sparkly diamond engagement ring. It was stunning. Armin had great taste. "One day, Armin. We're not getting married at a mall and especially not at this age," I snickered. He looked up at me with a nervous smile.

"Yeah, I know. I'm just saying someday... t-that is... is if you say yes."

I wrapped an arm around his back. "Of course I would say yes. You know I love you," I reassured him. 

"Really? You think you would?"

"Yes, I know I would. Now come on, let's go look at everything else in the mall," I insisted, guiding him out of the store. The smile that I had put on his face never came off of it. He was so happy. He was happy that he might have a chance at everlasting love. Inside, my heart broke a little bit more knowing it was never going to happen. I so badly wished it could. I felt like I'd probably never find another match for me in life, not as fit for me as Armin was. In the middle of the hall, Armin stopped and turned around. "Y/N, you don't need to buy me anything for me to be happy. Just being with you is enough for me," he explained. 

"Yeah, but I feel bad. I didn't really get you anything for your birthday."

"Y/N, you know I hate being spoiled. I don't like being the center of attention. It's just the way I am..."

He smiled at me shyly. I sighed, "Then what do you propose we do?" Armin stammered, "J-Just can we go somewhere with fewer people? Maybe back to your cabin. I have something I've been wanting to say..." I was intrigued but worried. 

"S-Sure, of course. Let's go then."

I wondered what he wanted to talk to me about. He wasn't usually incredibly secretive, nor did he mind speaking his mind in public. It was strange. I led him around a deserted area of the mall where construction was being done. Fortunately, none of the workers were present so it was a perfect place for us to time jump. I quickly traced my finger through the air, creating a portal. Armin grabbed my hand and followed me through it. We ended up in the interior of my cabin. Armin let go of my hand and sat down on my bed. I sat down beside him, on the left. "So, what's up?" I asked. Armin flinched and quickly turned towards me. He grasped onto my hands and looked me straight in the eyes. 

"Y/N, you know about that thing... like the thing that Eren and Jean did to me?"

"W-Which one?"

"The second- n-not the pill."

"Oh, yeah..."

"I-I..." he stuttered as he began tearing up. Poor boy. Was he having another low? Armin fell into my chest and hugged me tightly. I hugged him back, of course. "I'm sorry if you think I don't want you," he wept. "Why would I think that?" I exclaimed. "Because I lost my... I lost my virginity to them..." "I still don't understand," I stated. Armin cried, "I-I just... I thought you might think that I didn't want you- that I didn't want to lose it to you. I did, I r-really did! I thought you'd end up being my first but I lost that option..." I rubbed his back. Why did he have to worry so much about how I viewed him? Why didn't he understand how much I love him? Was I not fawning over him enough? Was I that bad of a girlfriend? Did I really make him feel that unloved and unwanted? 

"It's okay Armin, we can still be each other's firsts. That time didn't count, remember? I swear we've had this conversation before..."

"R-Really?"

"Armin, it's your body. It only counts when you say it counts. What happened wasn't consensual on your part at all and so it doesn't count. That was rape, not sex. Sex is supposed to be consensual and between people who share a deep connection. It's supposed to be special. What happened to you was far from that. Some people view it differently but I think you can only lose your virginity through sex, not rape."

"I-I'm so glad."

My sweet boy. Of all things, he would get stuck thinking about the worst things. I kissed the top of his head, then rest my chin on it. "You don't have to worry. You'll still have your chance with me if you want it to be with me-"

He interrupted me. "Yes," he practically yelled, "I couldn't think of a better person to do that kind of stuff with, other than you. I mean you obviously have a say in things too. If you don't want it to be me then that's fine. J-Just Y/N, promise that if the day comes you'll try to be gentle with me. I'm, well I hate to admit it, but, I'm sensitive..." 

"I promise I'd never do anything beyond what you're comfortable doing. And I hope that day will come, for us. You're really special to me so it would mean a lot to me if you were my first. I promise I wouldn't do anything to hurt you in any way," I lied.