Snk Various x Reader | Lemon

Chapter 35: Struggling with Temptation

I didn't eat much for dinner. The food I was once so used to eating now tasted inedible to me. I left the mess hall early and went back to my cabin to sit on my porch. I closed my eyes and listened to absolute nothingness. It was a cool winter night. I heard footsteps approaching the stairs and opened my eyes. It was someone in a huge, fluffy snow coat. I couldn't really make out their face because it was dark. It'd been getting darker earlier now. The person sat down beside me and took off their hood. It was Armin.

"Sorry," he apologized, "I'm probably not the person you would've wanted to see right now. I just thought you seemed a bit off during dinner." "Yeah you could say that," I muttered. He looked over at me and smiled warmly. For some reason, it calmed me. He asked me what was wrong and I replied, "just the usual, you know. I don't remember much so I'm having trouble coping with things." All of a sudden, he looked really happy. "Much? You mean you've remembered something?" he squealed with joy. "A bit, but not a lot," I told him. He looked at me in excitement written all over his face.

I figured I should probably talk to him about it. I asked him if we could go inside and talk and he agreed. We got up together. His brownish, long coat was ridiculous, but it was cute. I got a sudden flash. It was of Armin in some blackish-grey dress pants and a white blouse, with a tan vest over top. That's right. That was my favorite outfit of his. I felt a bit dizzy like I was losing my balance. Armin asked if I was okay and I assured him I was. He still stood exactly where he was before. I opened the cabin door and gestured to him, inviting him in. He walked inside and closed the door behind me. He was so chivalrous and I really admired that about him. 

Both of us took off our winter gear and sat down on my couch. I paused for a brief moment, looking into space. It was another memory flash. That's what I decided to call them, at that time. I remembered sitting on the couch with Armin one day. I remember I was trying to get to know him. I remember he told me about his heartbreaking upbringing. Thinking about it brought back a sense of shock and despair. I felt sick. "Y-Y/N, you don't look so good. Are you alright?" Armin asked me, seeming worried. 

"Yes, I'm fine."

"I hope so. So what have you remembered?" he said with a tone of desperation in his voice. I tried thinking back to what I remembered. "Well, I've been remembering things at random. Actually, they seem to be coming back when a similar event triggers a memory that relates to it. When we hugged back when we had our talk in the mountain cabin, I remembered your touch, your smell. It just seemed really familiar to me. When I was walking down to the mess hall today, I remembered when I used to walk down to the mess hall with you. I remembered telling you what cabin I was in so that you could come over if you needed some quiet time. Just now, I remembered when you came over and sat on this couch with me. You confessed some of the really horrible things that happened to you as a kid and I remember how much that hurt me. Even now, it makes me feel upset," I explained. "Well, there's no need for you to feel upset because that's honestly a really good start. I think it's useful for us to know that similar events trigger your memories. We can use that to get them back. Is that all you've remembered, so far?" he asked. I told him it was. He seemed a little disappointed and so was I. But, as he said, it was a good start. 

"Sorry, I wish I could remember more. Retrieving memories is beyond my abilities," I reassured him. 

"I know."

He looked down at his feet, seeming very self-conscious. I was feeling very overwhelmed and tired, so I told him I was thinking of heading to bed soon. 

"I'll leave, sorry."

He got up and grabbed his jacket. "Hey Armin?" I called out at him. He looked back quickly as if I had remembered everything and his life could go back to normal. "Yes?" he shouted.