Snk Various x Reader | Lemon

Chapter 71: Cruelty

Twenty minutes had passed and I was beginning to get worried. What if something had happened to Armin again? Was Eren just baiting him? Was this another set up for disaster? I got up and ran out into the forest behind my cabin, leading to the boys' cabins. There was an immense amount of laughter radiating from several meters in front of me. From what I could make out, there were a few boys huddling together behind a cabin. I approached them. The group consisted of Jean, Daz, Milieus, Floch, and Samuel. "Hey, have you guys seen-"

I was interrupted. Jean turned around and snickered, "Hey Y/N, please tell me you've seen this."

He was holding a book by one of its papers, swinging it back and forth. "No, what is it?" I asked. "Oh, a little diary entry written by oh-so-innocent Armin." Jean hadn't read any of the serious parts of Armin's journal, regarding his upbringing. Jean ended up falling upon the parts of the journal where Armin talked about his feelings, specifically his feelings toward me. My protective instincts latched into place.

"You won't believe what's in here! I didn't think he would fantasize about dirtier things than I do, but he apparently does. I hope this is actually his because it's hilarious. I found it on the floor after Eren left our cabin and I just knew I had to share it," he howled, "it gets good here. Lots and lots of kinky stuff. I can't entirely read his handwriting so I can't tell if he wanted to do this kind of stuff with you or if you guys actually did it. Regardless, it's gold." Jean flipped through the pages of the journal, laughing. He then threw the book at me and I clumsily caught it. "Guys this is really cruel. He's going to feel so betrayed when he finds out you guys read this," I told them, closing the journal.

"What, you're not gonna read it?"

"No, of course not. It's the right thing to do. Clearly you guys are too immature to respect people's privacy. Jean, you never cease to disappoint me." I turned away, then walking back towards my cabin, firmly grasping the journal. "Armin's not here, by the way. He ran off towards your cabin with Eren," Jean yelled. I ignored him. The group of guys taunted Jean about being rejected by me and I rolled my eyes. Poor Armin. I really hoped he wouldn't find out about everyone reading his journal. When I got back to my cabin, I saw Eren knocking repetitively on the cabin door.

"Eren?"

I walked up the creaky wooden steps and he turned around quickly, noticing the book in my hands. "Where'd you get that?" he practically screamed. "Everyone was huddling around it, reading it. Do you know what it is?" I asked. Eren stammered, "Y-Yes... I was the one who found it. Fuck, I shouldn't have just dropped it before I ran after Armin. If I'd just put it away or even taken it with me..."

"Did you read it?" A hint of anger sparked in my voice. 

"Y-Yeah but-"

"What a friend you are. God, am I the only fucking human being who cares about others' privacy? Armin's gonna devastated when he finds out you read it, that everyone read it."

"About that..." Eren trailed off. I asked him what happened and he told me, "well, Armin walked in on me reading his journal and freaked out. I didn't mean to read it. I found it under my bed, I mean his bed, and I dropped it. It opened up and I saw what was inside. He talked about how his parents used to abuse him and I was stunned. I couldn't believe I'd been such a terrible friend to him. I never knew and I never noticed. I feel like he's a completely different person than I thought he was. I wouldn't be telling you all of this, normally, but he wrote in his journal that he told you about all of that already. Is it true then? Did all of that really happen? When he caught me reading his journal he told me he hated me and ran out into the woods. I couldn't even catch up to him so I have no clue where he went."

"You can ask him. That's not my burden to talk about. Where was he going? Was he heading anywhere?"

"Out in the forest behind our old cabin. I tried going after him but I lost him..."

I sighed, pressing my fingers to my forehead in frustration. "Take me to where you last saw him," I demanded. Eren nodded and without another word, he led me back to his cabin and through the forest around it. He eventually stopped. "I lost him here," Eren told me. All of a sudden, both of us heard a blood-curdling scream coming from not too far away. I began running in the direction of the sound. Eren was close behind. I turned around and stopped him, putting my hand on his chest. I hadn't done that since my fallout with Armin. It made me uncomfortable even thinking about how I had feelings for him, so I moved my hand away from him. 

"You're the last person he'll want to see right now," I told him bluntly. "True," he mumbled, "Well, tell him I'm really sorry. I didn't know I'd end up hurting him again. I'll try my best to get the boys to keep their mouths shut."

"You can only hope that he'll forgive you."

I turned around and began running again, starting to hear loud weeping from up ahead. I felt so bad for Armin. Whatever was in that journal must have been really personal. From what I gathered, it was filled with both traumatic events and recounts of intimate experiences between him and me. I eventually stopped running when I saw Armin laying on the ground. He was a dirty wet mess. His hair was knotted and muddy, clothes ripped, and he even had a few noticeable cuts. Armin lay on the ground crying, punching himself in the groin. He was punishing himself. He'd assumed that Eren had read the dirty parts of his journal and he was embarrassed beyond explanation. He was ashamed of the things he wrote, both truth and fantasy, so he wanted to punish himself in a fitting way. Armin wanted to punish the part of him that lead those desires. He curled up in pain as I slowly approached him with caution.

"A-Armin?"

He turned his head sharply, taking notice of the notebook in my hand.

"No... you too?" he whined. Oceans-worth of tears spewed from his beautiful blue eyes. I walked over and sat down beside him, rubbing his back. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry Y/N!" Armin cried repetitively. He was a mess. It was clearly the worst tantrum he'd ever had, to date. He wailed loudly, shaking excessively. "It's okay Armin. Come, sit up." I yanked at his shoulders, and with no help from him whatsoever, I got him up into his knees. He still had his eyes pierced shut, crying tremendous amounts of tears.

"Armin, I didn't read it."

His eyes burst open and he looked at me. The whites of his eyes had turned red. 

"R-Really?" he sobbed. "Yes, I promise."

I lay the book down on his lap, holding it there. He shakily looked down at it, then back at me. His bottom lip quivered. "It's yours," I said calmly, I have no right to read your private thoughts without your permission." Armin fell into my chest and hugged me tightly. "Y/N, I love you. I love you so much! I love you, Y/N..." he cried into my torso. I hugged him and rubbed his back. "I love you too, Armin."