Insufferable || Jinson

29

OCT, 2ND

While reading his newly bought book because he needed a distraction — an escape — from everything that's happening and from his own cruddy feelings, he gets a call from Mark, asking him if he's able meet up with him for a cup of coffee.

He immediately agrees because anything to take his mind off the mess he's made is very welcome. Thirty minutes later, he ends up with a warm cup of convenient store coffee in his hands while Mark sits across from him, staring at him silently.

"Jesus christ, could you at least speak? You're scaring me," Jinyoung says, breaking the silence. 

"Heard you had a pretty big fight with Jackson," Mark responds, much to Jinyoung's chagrin. 

"I don't want to talk about it. I'm too much of a coward to be facing my problems head on, after all."

"Jinyoung—"

"Just drop it. Seriously. I don't... Not right now."

Mark sighs, placing a hand on Jinyoung's forearm. "Look, I'm not trying to make you talk about it, or to be your therapist but maybe you need to talk to Jackson? Obviously he was dismissive about how you felt, according to what he told me about the argument anyway, but maybe you're giving him less credit than he's due? And you did say some pretty shitty things to him, too. Both of you are at fault."

 "So you're siding with him."

Exhaling in an exasperated manner, Mark shakes his head. "Jinyoung. No. No, no no, that's not what I'm doing. See? This is what I'm saying. You need to learn to not be so defensive every time someone tells you something, not take everything to heart, and maybe see it from his point of view? Put yourself in his shoes for a second. You can do that by hearing him out." He squeezes Jinyoung's arm, gently. "Why exactly are you mad at him? He told me the brief details but I want to hear your side."

"I thought this wasn't a therapy session." Jinyoung sighs, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. "I guess I just— Applying for jobs overseas is a pretty big thing, and I'm not saying I don't support him because I do, but it's not something you just don't talk about to the person you're in a relationship with. At least that's what I think. It can have a pretty big effect on our relationship, because if he does get the job, then we're going to end up long distance, and things are going to inevitably become a bit more... Complicated."

"You don't plan on getting a job overseas? Or at least trying to get a job overseas? It's a great opportunity, you know, and I feel like you'd be a pretty great candidate."

"No, I'm pretty confident I'm going to get into a firm of my top choice; it's based in Korea, so I didn't see the point of applying overseas. I don't care for going abroad, anyway."

Mark nods, understandingly. "Fair enough. It's always been your dream to work at that company." He exhales. "Either way, I'm sure he was going to tell you in the near future, if you hadn't found it out through us first." He winces a bit, looking guilty. 

"I don't know... The way he treats it as such a small blip on the radar, like it doesn't matter that much makes me feel like he wouldn't have told me until the very last minute." He sighs. "It's not like I don't want him taking the opportunities being presented to him, either. I don't want to be that type of person, to hold him back and become some sort of a baggage. That's not what this relationship is about, I know that much. We're both... Individuals,  with our own goals, and I get that. But fuck, if it doesn't sting, knowing he's just... He doesn't seem to care enough to tell me the more important things." His voice grows quieter, and by the end, he's biting his bottom lip, the tight feeling in his chest returning.