A Reason for Being

21. Be brave

The tradition after dinner and dessert is the unashamed walk of shame down to Miya's for a late-night snack. Friday's and Saturday's are the nights the kitchen is open late, which is no coincidence that Y/N always visits Atsumu those days.

"Sorry Samu, I was preoccupied. Don't think I forgot to see my favorite twin" Y/N's voice echoes in the empty restaurant kitchen. "And I still don't understand why you're still here. You work too much—oh, you're not Samu." She pauses mid-sentence.

"I'm afraid not. I sent Samu home. You're right. He does work too much." The chef giggles. "You're Y/N, correct? While I may not be a world-renowned chef, I make the best-grilled cheese sandwich. Would you like one?"

Y/N gave the woman with the chef hat a slight nod because she will never refuse a grilled cheese. She has seen the young woman before at Miya's, but this is the first time they've had a conversation.

"Your lover is that hottie with the tattoos, right?" While there are a lot of hotties with tattoos roaming the Miya's hallways, Y/N was referring to one specific person she has seen in Atsumu's office. The one with terrible bed-headed. And as the chef nods as she hands Y/N her sandwich, her statement is correct.

"Thank you, Mrs. Kuroo." Y/N's words make the chef giggle. "Well, not quite yet, but soon I guess. It does sound strange, huh? After getting married, my name will change."

"Well, it doesn't have to. You can always keep your surname." Y/N responds. The two of them are enjoying their grilled cheese sandwiches, leaning on the stainless steel counter. "I certainly wouldn't. I'd keep mine. But again, marriage seems like a hazy dream turned nightmare. No offense."

"None taken." The chef replies, "But the way I see it, loving a person that much, wanting to be with them for the rest of your life, changing my last name seems so minor. Don't you think?"

"Loving someone that much that you'd change yourself for them, that isn't something I could do." Y/N is quick to respond.

"I don't see it that way. I see it like two people growing, flourishing, together. Being with the right person doesn't mean you have to change for them. Even though they will love you no matter what, you try your hardest to be a better version of yourself for them."

Y/N's name is spoken very highly in the restaurant, especially by Atsumu.

"Well, if she is as great as you say she is, why not make things more serious?" Both Kuroo and his girlfriend at the time would ask Atsumu. There was always an extra pep in Atsumu's step whenever he'd see Y/N. "Why so we can double date? Even worse triple date with Samu and Rin? Ew, gross." He would say. "Besides, Y/N isn't the type to want to have anything serious."

It only took this one conversation for the chef to understand Y/N. She was nothing like Atsumu said. "Y/N doesn't date. She doesn't believe in romance." But the Y/N sitting before her was telling a different story.

"You know, I ran away once from Tetsu. Because I didn't think he loved me as much as I loved him. During that time, I was the most miserable. Not because of my broken heart, but because I never got to tell him how I felt. It felt like my heart was going to explode, trying to keep it all inside. And that's more painful."

"Who said I ran away? And besides, that story sounds like a fairytale." Y/N Scoffs.

"Well, isn't that why you're here?" The chef softly whispers. It was a familiar look in Y/N's eyes. Like she was lost, confused. The look in Y/N's eyes like she was afraid, but not of love, but of loving a person beyond herself, losing control.

"No, actually, I came to eat at a five-star restaurant, not to have a therapy session." Y/N bluntly replies, opening up in general, let alone to a stranger, was uncomfortable for her. A stranger who spoke only the truth to Y/N, the one she kept denying, was making her angry.