A Reason for Being

24. No offense to your burnt toast

Waking up alone, Tooru has done for years. Nothing out of the ordinary about it. All the bed space for himself, sleeping right smack in the middle of his mattress, something he enjoyed doing.

He woke up colder than usual. The indentation of Y/N's body, as well as the warmth her body was radiating around him. Except she wasn't there, and he was all alone.

Y/N wanted to clean up before she fell asleep. He concluded she went home to do so.

Walking into his kitchen, he saw Iwaizumi, like always. His roommate wakes up at the same time every day and goes on a jog. Usually, the smell of breakfast wakes Tooru up. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Tooru asked. Iwaizumi's face had an unusual sadness to it.

"I saw Y/N leave this morning." Iwa whispers.

"Yeah, I was going to tell her she could shower here, but she left before I could tell her. Did you offer her some breakfast?" Tooru asks as he takes a bite of his toast.

"No, I didn't. Oikawa listen—"

"Iwa-Chan, that wasn't very hospitable of you." Tooru responds, "No worries, I'll go see if she's eaten, or better yet, I'll take her somewhere to eat. No offense to your burnt toast."

"She's not home." Iwaizumi says. "She left."

"Left? What do you mean left? For work or something?"

Shaking his head, Iwaizumi responds, "I'm sorry, Tooru. I tried to get her to stay, but she's gone."

It took Tooru a few moments to understand fully what his roommate was saying. "Why didn't you wake me up sooner?!" He huffs. Even though he knew being awake probably wouldn't have changed the outcome, he would have tried. "I could have, I don't know. I could have convinced her to stay. She was just afraid. I shouldn't have pushed her. It's my fault." He whispers.

The time in the gym bathroom when they shared a tender moment, and in bed, as they laid together, as he held her tightly in his arms, he could feel her trembling in his arms. That form of intimacy seemed difficult for Y/N. Tooru understood that. 

For days he blamed himself. He shouldn't have gotten attached so quickly. But as he laid there holding Y/N in his bare chest, like two magnets, they fused. Even as she trembled below him, she clung onto his body so tightly, like she didn't want to let go. And he would do anything in his power to freeze time at that moment. But once again, his selfish desires caused him to be alone yet again.

"Have you heard from her?" He would ask Iwaizumi every single day. And each day, it was a no.

Iwaizumi knew the possibility of Y/N ending up at Miya's was high. But he also understood that Alisa would protect Y/N, keeping her whereabouts a secret until Y/N was ready to be seen.

Days turned into weeks, and Tooru's frustration grew. "Come on, Tadashi. You know where they are, don't you?" Even before Yachi started working for Y/N, Tooru would see her hanging out with Tadashi in the lobby. Not to mention high school days, Yamaguchi the captain and Yachi the team manager. Since Tooru has not seen Yachi nor Y/N, he concluded Yachi was with Y/N.

"I'm sorry, Oikawa. I don't know." Yamaguchi nervously says.

"Bullshit. How do you not know where your best friend is?"

It was true. Yachi kept in contact with Yamaguchi daily, telling him about her adventures in NYC, sending pictures of her excursions.

He keeps asking about her, Yachi. What do I do?

She's not ready yet, Yams.

"All I want to know is if she's okay. Can you at least tell me that?" Tooru asked.

"She is okay. I can't tell you where they are, but Yachi says she is having a great time." Yamaguchi whispered. He saw the sadness in Tooru's eyes every morning as his eyes scanned the lobby, hoping she would show up.

All Tooru wanted to know was if she was okay. Yet when Yamaguchi told him, it was like a sudden rush of rage flowed through his body.

He was under the impression she ran away because the sudden affection coming from him startled her. He would search for her until he found her, to tell her he was afraid too.  Find her and say that they could face it together. A relationship is a big step. Tooru wouldn't have pushed her. All he needed to know was that his feelings were mutual. That what they had wasn't just a meaningless hookup.

But according to Yamaguchi, Y/N is off running into the sunset, having a blast far away from him, without him. And whatever semblance of emotion he thought she felt for him was all in his head.

Weeks turned into months, and he stopped asking, accepting the fact that she wasn't coming back.

Towards the tail end of volleyball season, away games were more frequent. The weekly travels were a great distraction, helping Tooru forget. But as all the gorgeous women would line up to greet him after his match, it stung a little, knowing Y/N wasn't thinking about him.

When he saw her as the elevator doors open it was almost like a dream. For a second, he thought he imagined her standing there. Wanting so desperately to run a tell her he missed her. But she was real, and he remembered that she left without any explanation because she didn't want him. Which only angered him.

"Are you sure you don't want to go with me?" Iwaizumi asked. It was their last day of the season. Iwaziumi was going back home to see Alisa during their time off. "It would be nice to go back home. You haven't been since moving here. And also, she might be there..."

"She's not," Tooru says. "Saw her this morning. She's back home. Like nothing ever happened. Have a nice trip." Tooru responds.

Tooru tries not to involve himself with anyone at Miya's besides Alisa. Bad memories of a night at the Suna Manor. And even though Tooru and his ex-girlfriend are close friends. And there isn't any animosity between Kuroo and Tooru. Even still, he feels like an outsider whenever he enters Miya's. So he'd rather not.

"Shit. Are you sure? I can postpone my trip." Iwaizumi responds. If his best friend asked him to stay, he would, without hesitation.

"Go, Iwa-chan. I'll be just fine. I have some fashion gig my manager set up. So I'll be busy."

"So you're a model now?" Iwaizumi laughs.

"I mean, duh, look at me." Tooru gives his friend his signature sticking tongue out, victory sign pose.

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"So you said the sponsor Asahi set up is a sports team?" Y/N asks Yachi on their way to work.

The situation that happened with Tooru by the elevators, Y/N tries to forget. Work was keeping her busy enough to bury her feelings deep inside.

"Seems random. Why a sports team would be interested in fashion."

"Well, sports are popular here, Y/N. So it's not uncommon for collaborations." Yachi responds.

"So what is it? Fútbol team? I love me a fútbol player" Y/N responds.

"I'm not sure, honestly. All I know is we are meeting first thing this morning."

Yachi's responsibilities have grown beyond simply setting schedules. Y/N appointed her to deal with more aspects of her business, mainly financials. So Y/N's assistant needed an assistant.

"O-oh, you finally here. Y-your first meeting arrived. Waiting in your office already, Miss L/N. I-I hope that's okay." The freshly graduated high school student nervously says as Y/N and Yachi exit the elevators.

"Do you have any paperwork? So that Y/N knows who she is meeting." Yachi politely asks. She knows Y/N likes to know who she is about to meet. In the past, Yachi would make bullet points for her. Y/N would read them as she walked into her office. "Y-yes, I'll make that right away, Miss Yachi."

"Oh, forget it. They are already waiting." Y/N rolls her eyes.

As Yachi looks over the schedule on her desk, on the computer screen, she sees his name. "W-wait! Y/N!" But it was too late. Y/N walked into a land mine. Unprepared and unaware.

It wasn't a fútbol club, but a volleyball one. And the person she was meeting wasn't a stranger but Y/N's next-door neighbor.