Just a Fallout 4 fanfic

Kellogg's memories

Amari: Can you hear me? Ah, good. The simulation appears to be working, although the memories are quite fragmentary. I'll try to step you through the intact memories, and hope we find one that gives us some clue to the institute's location... There. This is the earliest intact memory I can find

(Nathan's consciousness starts walking through the memory train, but then Kellogg appears in front of him)

Kellogg: Well well. Look what we've got here. The backup. Accomplishing something I never would have even thought possible

Nathan: What the-? How?

Kellogg: These are my memories you're going through. In my head. This isn't actually me, like that isn't actually you

Nathan: These are just projections of our consciousnesses

Kellogg: Exactly. That synth in the trench coat's the host, so I'm just as powerless as you. And there's really no point in fighting in here. Even if I win, I know you'll just come back again. Follow me

(Kellogg leads Nathan through his memories, and they arrive at what looks like Kellogg as a child and his mother together. And the occasional shout from his father in the background)

Nathan: Did your mother call you Connie?

Kellogg: Yeah. My full name's Conrad Kellogg. And don't even think about making a goddamn cereal joke

Nathan: Heh. Noted

(Kellogg chuckles)

Kellogg: Me? I was such a dummy back then. What did I know about how the world worked? I think now she would have wanted me to kill him. I should have. Instead, I ended up running away. I told myself I wanted to get out from under the thumb of the NCR and all their rules. But really, I was just running away from the guilt of not protecting her from dad. Doesn't matter now though

(Kellogg sits down on his childhood bed)

Kellogg: And then there's Mom. She knew how it was. She definitely wasn't soft, but she loved me in her own way. And she protected me from dad. That cost her more than a few beatings. I never knew what happened to her after I left. But I didn't want to know. Not then

Nathan: What was your dad like?

Kellogg: He was always either drunk or not around. I guess he must have run with one of the raider gangs. I never really knew what he did. I don't know why mom was with him. Maybe at some point in his life he wasn't a complete asshole

Amari: This doesn't seem to be what we're looking for

(Kellogg summons another memory)

Amari: There appears to be another intact memory close to you in temporal sequence

Kellogg: Follow me

(Nathan and Kellogg go to the next memory sequence. It shows Kellogg as a young adult. Along with a woman and a baby. Probably his wife and child)

Nathan: You had a family of your own

Kellogg: Yeah. I did. You see, the thing about happiness is that you only know you had it when it's gone. I mean, you might think to yourself that you're happy. But you don't really believe it. You focus on the petty BS or whatever. It's only by looking back by comparison with what comes after that you really understand what happiness felt like

Nathan: Is that your daughter? She's got your eyes

(Kellogg sighs)

Kellogg: Whatever made me think guy like me should have a daughter? I never deserved her. Not for one second. And Sarah? I'm the worst thing that ever happened to her. If she'd never met me, maybe she'd have stayed in the hub, hooked up with someone who didn't kill people for a living