Russell

Make It Look Real

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Russell

I walked towards my room, shut the door behind me, and leaned against the door, closing my eyes. I can still feel my nerves wrecking inside of me, and my heart pounding fastly in my chest.

What the hell was I thinking? I just know I'm going to regret this. The more time I spend with Sam, the more I think about her. This is why I have to make sure I get her back with her ex. If she's taken, I won't have the temptation to be with her. I can't be with someone right now. I just can't.

I take a deep sigh and begin to pace around in my room, running my fingers through my hair.

I know she's beautiful, I admit it. She's...just gorgeous. She's naturally quirky and funny, she knows how to make me laugh, and I easily open up to her...but I can't. I'm far too damaged to let anyone in and become intimate with someone. Relationships are not for me. I'll only end hurting her if we ever became a couple.

I take a seat on the edge of my bed and place my elbows on my knees trying to calm down. I can still feel her lips on mine. She tastes so sweet. I wanted more...so much more. Which was why I had to rip myself away from her. Who knows what else I would have done to her if I had stayed? I don't deserve someone as good as her. She's far too good for me, plus...if she found out what I do for a living, she'd never speak to me again.

I have to keep my word and help her get back with Craig...even if he is an asshole I can barely stand. He's still a better match for her than me. Damn it... I want to go back out there and kiss her again, but I have to restrain myself and stick to my word.

I lay flat on my back, and run my hands across my face, stopping at my lips. Her body fits so perfectly in my arms, and I love when she places her hands on my chest. The way she blushes when I bite my bottom lip and smirk at her. She's so beautiful. God- I have to stop thinking about her. Stick to your plan Knight. You don't deserve her.

I drift off, but I can't deny that I fell asleep thinking or dreaming about her.

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Samantha (next morning)

I woke up groggy from last night. I barely got any sleep. I am so confused by this whole situation. Should I really try to go back to Craig? Yet... I can't stop thinking about last night's kiss with Russell. He's such a good kisser, and I love the way he holds me. This is wrong, right? I mean... A part of me doesn't want to go back with Craig and move on to someone else. It's been three years since we broke up. If he would have asked me to go back to him a few years ago...even a year ago, I most likely would have said yes. But, now, I'm doubting it. I've been thinking about Russell since the day we met, but I know he's not looking for a serious relationship.

I mean, my relationship with Craig was pretty amazing. He was a good boyfriend, and very caring. But everything shattered when I refused to sleep with him. We were just high schoolers, and I didn't feel I was ready for it yet. My heart broke when I found out he had slept with another girl. Even then, I was stupid enough to forgive him and took him back, but nothing was the same after that.

I glance at my clock, it was already 7 a.m., I have class in an hour and a half. I grunt, moving my duvet to a side, and slowly getting up. I make my way to the bathroom and knock, making sure I don't catch Russell in there doing his business again. Once I see he's not inside, I go in and do my business, I get ready, have a coffee and oatmeal before taking off to class. Russell must of left early, I didn't see him at all while I was getting ready.

By lunchtime, I make my way to the cafeteria to meet up with Kim, Brandon, and Russell as usual. Except... This time, Kim's new friends are at the table too, and Craig is there sitting with the same girl on his lap. My stomach clenches at the sight. It doesn't bother me as it should, which is why I am doubting doing this. I'm not jealous of seeing him move on, nor am I jealous to see her in his lap, I guess just seeing him bothers me. It's just, I'm not sure I want my friendship with Russell being tampered with this way.

I love being around Russell, he's the sweetest guy I've ever met. But he can also be distant, and his attitude changes in seconds. He's so quiet, that most people think he's always pushed off, but that's just how he is. He's quiet, reserved, polite, and charming all at once.

"Well, look who came to join us? Where's your boo, Sam? Or did he finally realize you were too boring to be with?" he says making me roll my eyes.

"Wait, Sam has a boyfriend? You didn't tell me. Who?" Kim adds making me grunt, regretting to come here.

"Hey, babe. Sorry, I'm late. Couldn't decide on whether I should get you a cheeseburger, or a plate of your favorite pasta today. So... I got both, what do you think?" Russell says from behind me, making my eyes wide along with Kim. "Umm, thanks, Russ," I add.

He pulls me by my waist flushed against him making Kim and me widen our eyes more as if it was even possible. "Make it look real. Kiss me," he whispers in my ear as he hugs me tightly. I'm confused for a second before I can process what he was doing. Before I can say anything, he lifts my chin with his index and plants a big kiss on me, making me blush.

I was about to pull away when he holds me steady, tightening his arms around my waist and kissing me again. My hands slowly trail from his chest to around his neck, making me give them a show as we deepen our kiss.

I can hear everyone rooting for us, as he tilts me back, interlacing his fingers on my hair, and kissing me harder. We finally part, gasping for air. But my mind completely forgets that Craig was here. All my mind can think of right now is how sweet Russell's lips are, and how good of a kisser he is. I know for sure now... This is going to be harder than I thought.

I have to tell him, I have to be honest with Russell and tell him that this...is not what I want. I can care less what Craig does. I want nothing to do with Craig, but how the question is... How will I ever be able to live with Russell now? Things are getting complicated. Will I be able to live with him knowing I have already kissed him twice?

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